I Drank the Water

Becoming a Big Brother

2008-05-26T04:40:00.001-07:00

*I forgot to add this post earlier, so I don't forget when I go to scrapbook these photos*

Ryan's parents brought Porter up to the hospital after his nap, around 4:30pm. I wish I'd have thought to take our video camera to the hospital... we are TERRIBLE with using our video camera. Anyhow, Ryan snapped these pictures of Porter meeting Hudson for the first time.

He was so intrigued, I guess that's the word. He loves Baby Landon (who LeeAnn watches on the days she watches Porter as well) and just two weeks before we'd gone up to the hospital to see Katie and Baby Nolan. I kept telling him that Nolan came out of Katies belly and that Baby Hudson was going to be little and tiny like N0lan when he comes out of my tummy. I just kept trying to make him understand that the belly he always talked to would eventually produce a BABY! By Monday, when I asked him who he was going to get to meet tomorrow he said "Baby Hudson come outta your belly like Nolan outta Taties belly"

When he first saw Hudson he just stared. I had him sit on the bed with me and held Hudson for him. He was so sweet. He kept saying "Hi Baby Hudson! You come outta mommy's belly? You come play with me? OOOhhh Hi Baby Hudson!" He was so gentle with him... softly stroking each cheek, then his forehead and then his nose... kind of inspecting all of his tiny little parts.

It didn't last too long as he heard the train outside and "Oooh I dotta get down and see dat train!!" HAHA!

However, since coming home, Porter is SUCH a good big brother. The first day home, I put Hudson in the sling while Porter napped. When Porter woke up, he groggily stumbled around the living room to all the "baby items"... the boppy, the swing, the carseat, the bouncer, and into Hudson's room. The whole time I kept asking "What are you looking for?" but he didn't answer... he just slowly inspected each item. He finally looked up at me and said "I can't find Baby Hudson!" HAHA!

Every morning he comes into my room and says he wants to go see Hudson, and he wants to wake him up. He pushes his stool up next to his crib in the morning and stares at him. When we go somewhere, he tries to help Ryan carry the carseat by holding onto the side. I'm so proud of him for being such a good big brother!

Just for kicks....

2008-05-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

Porter:

Hudson:

It's decided....

2008-05-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

He shall be dubbed Hudson Riley Barczak.

Strange... I keep thinking of him as "Riley." Which is just odd for me as we've always like Rylee for a girls' name. Anyhow, the birth certificate has been filled out... Hudson Riley he is.

Welcome Hudson (no middle name) Barczak!

2008-05-20T18:18:00.000-07:00

Yep, we still do not have a middle name for him. I think right now its between Hudson Oliver and a new one... Hudson Riley. Ryan pulled that one out of thin air about a week ago and while I dismissed it at first as I think of Riley as a girls name, I am starting to think it fits him better than Hudson Oliver. So, no idea where we're going with that.

So... I'm totally insane for having delivered a baby mere 8 hours ago (literally, as I type- 8 hours ago) and I'm raring to go. I can't quit blogging! HAHA!

We got to the hospital around 6:45am and it was just so strange to be so.... normal... and just like "Hey, let's get this labor started." I was a nervous wreck, I could barely talk to Ryan or the nurses even though they all were trying to chat it up with me. I was dreading the whole entire day.

Here's a quick rundown of labor:

Started me on pitocin at 7am. I was 4cm dilated
Contractions started about an hour later, and they weren't bad at all.
9am I was 4cm dilated and 50% effaced at this point
Doctor checked me at 10am and I was 5-6cm and 80% effaced and he said if my water were to break I'd go quickly, so he ordered my epidural and upped my pitocin to 12 (it started at 2, then 4, then 6 and so on ...)
The contractions were terrible at this point and I thought I was going to die. I was trying to figure out how to turn the pitocin machine down HAHA!
My epidural arrived around 11am, and I survived the 30 minutes of hell waiting, and then after a few milder contractions I was numb and feeling great.
By now my mom, Ryan and Leslie were there and we were just chatting about furniture and moving and all that fun stuff. Leslie (who wasn't able to have an epidural with Reyna) was dumbfounded... she said "We're just sitting here talking about TABLES and you're in LABOR!"
Around 12:15/12:30 the doctor came in and broke my water. I was 10cm and ready to go, so he had my epidural turned down so that I'd feel the contractions and the urge to push. I didn't like this.
I only felt bad contractions on one side from this point on. Kind of weird. One side felt a bit numb still, the other felt like my sciatic nerve was shooting down my leg. I had about 30 minutes of kill-me-now contractions and then they got me ready to push.
Doctor checks, says "get the nursery staff in here, the baby is right there." I was almost in tears thinking about pushing. I dreaded the thought of the pain I had with Porter.
I so did not believe him when he said I'd push once and we'd be saying Happy Birthday. Sure enough, I pushed twice and there he was! I was in disbelief and even said (gasp) "Hey, I could do that again! That was nothing!"

Hudson was face up like Porter was (in which the nurse told me today that its extremely rare to deliver "O.P" ie... face up... and the fact that I "only" pushed for 2 hours delivering an OP baby was great. So, when Dr. P told me Hudson, too, was face up, I was freaked out. Well, he ended up flipping at the last minute. Thank God!

I tore... bad. Up to my urethra (sorry, TMI for some of you I'm sure). OUCH. Leave it to me to tear the wrong freaking way! Anyhow, so far I'm not dying, but its painful to sit.

I was dumbfounded at how great I felt after delivery. It sure makes a difference not having to push for 2 hours! I felt like I could get up and go home!

Ryan and I both kept thinking it was so weird that he was OURS... it seemed like he was someone else's kid we were holding. However, after spending the day with him its feeling more normal. He's so cute (although of course we're biased) and he reminds us a lot of Porter but with a bit smaller nose and chubbier cheeks. He's not wanting to eat much, and I think all day he's had about a total of once ounce, but hopefully he'll be a little more raring to go tomorrow.

As I type now, he's laying next to me sleeping, being a good boy and letting his mommy blog!

Oh... I should post the stats:

Hudson ______ Barczak
7lbs 2oz
20.5 inches long
Born at 1:18pm

Estimated time till induction:

2008-05-20T02:23:00.000-07:00

Its 5:22am. I have to be a the hospital between 6:15 and 6:30am.

I'll update as soon as I can.

T Minus 1 Day!

2008-05-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

I am in a little disbelief that tomorrow at this time I'll be in the hospital in labor. I'm extremely nervous this time around. With Porter, he was early and I was so uncomfortable that all I could think about was being done being pregnant. I don't remember being nervous or scared about delivery... I embraced the fact that I'd be done being so uncomfortable.

Now its my last day home with just one child. Ryan won't be home until late tonight (class), and Ryan's parents are taking Porter to stay the night so we don't have to worry about getting him anywhere in the morning.

I've been racking my brain thinking of any last minute things I need to do while I'm pregnant. I really want to take a few pictures of Porter talking to Hudson. Its the sweetest thing. He loves to lift up my shirt and talk to him. He says the cutest things like:

"I gotta say hi to baby Hudson"
"Hey baby Hudson.. you wanna come out and play with me?"
"What doin', baby Hudson?"
"C'mon! You come out now? C'mon!" (with hand motions... so cute)
"Love you baby Hudson!"

I am going to try to get video of him and attempt to set up my camera timer and take some pictures. We'll see how that goes...

I'm feeling all emotional about saying goodbye to Porter today as I know it'll be the last time I see him as my only child. Is that strange?

So anyhow... I'm just freaking out a little bit about this last day of pregnancy. Like I've said before, I am not sure how much I'll be leaning towards having a third child after Hudson is here. It makes me sad to think this could possibly be it. We obviously won't make any rash decisions for quite awhile, but I know for sure we won't be adding onto our family until Hudson is about 4 or so. I'm just trying to enjoy his little kicks and movements while I can.

I'm also freaked out about labor and delivery! I'm so so nervous this time around... the "amnesia" seems to be wearing off and I'm remembering the pain and exhaustion of delivery and pushing for 2 hours. I'm hoping Hudson comes out face down like he is supposed to and maybe that'll make it a little easier?

Well, I guess I should get off here and bask in the last afternoon of being huge and round and full of baby. I'll try to update as soon as I can!

I guess not....

2008-05-17T22:50:00.000-07:00

Well, we thought tonight might be the night. I started having contractions around 6pm, and they were about every 2-7 minutes. At 6:30 Ryan called his parents to come over to watch Porter, thinking we needed to head to the hospital. I kept saying "No, no... its probably because I didn't eat much today... I haven't had anything to eat in awhile." So, I finished with dinner, and decided to hop in the shower just in case we did have to go to the hospital.

By the time Cathy and Dave got her and I was out of the shower, my contractions were about 10 minutes apart. And then they stopped for awhile, and started back up from 8-10pm being pretty regular, about 10 minutes apart give or take a few minutes. And they were getting a bit stronger, more painful.

I called L&D only because the booklet they give you says if its your second child to come in when contractions are 5-10 min apart. With Porter, I never went to the hospital b/c of contractions... I went in for my appt. and was sent to L&D from there. Anyhow, I let them know what was going on, asked how far apart I should wait to come in etc. They said every 5 minutes and pretty regular.

So, I laid down to get some sleep, figuring if we ended up going in in the middle of the night I'd better at least get some sleep. Cathy and Dave had taken Porter home with them just in case, so we didn't have to worry about him tonight.

I just woke up and its 1:45ish. I haven't noticed or had any contractions in awhile. Go figure. I probably should have gotten off my butt and walked around more, as they seemed to be more regular when I was up and moving. I'm just too lazy LOL!

I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings...

Contractions

2008-05-17T06:17:00.000-07:00

I've been having contractions since yesterday afternoon... nothing regular. The closest they were was about 15 min apart last night. Ick, they're painful though! I'm not looking forward to the pain of giving birth.... I hope I'll be able to get an epidural pretty quickly on Tuesday!

Anyhow, maybe this weekend will be D-Day, who knows. I'll keep you updated.

"38" Week Appointment

2008-05-16T09:36:00.000-07:00

I went in for my appointment today and she said "Ok lets see... 37weeks 5 days" I cringed and made a face. UGH!

So she says she'd talked to the doctor and he said next week would be fine for an induction if I'm open to that. Of course!

Then she asked how I went into labor with Porter, so I told her I went in for my 38 week appointment, was 4cm dilated and I was sent to L&D to have my water broke.

She said I might follow the same pattern and since I was just about 38 weeks she asked if I wanted to be checked. Heck yeah I do!

I was so afraid I wouldn't be dilated at all.

Well, turns out I am 3cm dilated and she scheduled me to be induced Tuesday, May 20th! So... just 4 more days of being pregnant!! I can't wait to meet this little guy!!

Almost 39 Week picture

2008-05-14T04:04:00.000-07:00

Or... maybe almost 38 Week picture... according to the measurements of the freaking gestational sac at 5 weeks. Why did I open my big mouth? They'd probably induce me on Friday if my due date was "officially" May 23rd in their records. I'm so so done this week. Up to last week I was feeling ok. I was thinking "Ehh, I should feel happy that my hips don't hurt as bad as they did a month and a half ago, my sciatic nerve only acts up every once in awhile lately, my back doesn't hurt, my neck doesn't hurt, my bra is halfway comfortable this time and Hudson isn't ripping my ribs apart like Porter was at this point."

Well... I spoke too soon. As once Monday hit I ended up with an upper backache that has been on the verge of giving me a migraine. And my legs feel like they're being ripped off at the joints. My inner thigh joints hurt SOOO bad. Especially when I am sleeping and I try to roll over. It nearly brings me to tears. I'm ready to be done... ready to have this little guy here so we can get things back to somewhat normal and focus on all this freaking house stuff. Ugh.

I have two more days of work (I decided, after we found out we're going to have to pay at our house closing) to work an additional week because at that point I was feeling pretty darn good. Now I feel like crap and I wish I'd taken the week off.

Anyhow... the point of this post. A picture. Because I haven't taken a side view belly picture since 24 weeks. Slacker!!

Less than 2 weeks!

2008-05-10T18:03:00.000-07:00

Oooh I am getting so excited to have Hudson here. I can't wait to see him and see what and who he looks like and see how Porter reacts to him. Katie had her baby on Wednesday (baby Nolan!) and Porter and I went to see them.... he was so sweet with him. I hope he's the same way with Hudson.

Porter and I went to Target the other day and picked up two packs of slow flow nipples to get us by, as well as a can of formula and... hmm... I guess that's all! I still feel like I'm so unprepared for this baby... but I guess its not like we're a zillion miles away from a store if we need to get something.

I forgot to mention... I got a steal on a swing! I found this swing on Craigslist for $20... its in great condition although the mobile has a few malfunctions (lights don't work and the mobile doesn't turn). The swing works great and the music works, so we're good. We had borrowed this same swing from my sister and those same 2 things didn't work on hers, so it must be something with that swing that malfunctions. Oh well... for $20 I'm not complaining!

Still no real headway on the middle name. I think I'm pretty set on one, but we really haven't even discussed names recently. We've tossed a few back and forth in passing, but just haven't sat down and hashed it all out. Maybe that will be a plan for tonight.

I ordered the footprint photo frame and baby book tonight. I decided to just get the same baby book that Porter has (yeah... I know... boring...), that way I didn't end up loving or hating one more than the other. Its not like I don't document on my blog or in my scrapbooks, so really, baby books aren't something I need to be particular about. And, I do like Porter's baby book.

I also need to somewhat pack a bag for the hospital. Any suggestions on what to take? With Porter we took EVERYTHING but the kitchen sink... and used none of it. They provide diapers and even formula, so that's take care of. I'm thinking thus far I really just need my camera(s), an outfit for Hudson and I to go home in, some toys for Porter for when he's visiting us, uhm.... anything else? I'll probably take my laptop as they have wifi in the rooms. Who knows if I'll be up to blogging, but you never know....

I'm so very much not prepared for this baby...

2008-05-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

Nevermind the fact that we'll be moving somewhere (who knows where!) shortly after Hudson's arrival... but I feel like I have arrived at the end of this pregnancy and I've planned for nothing. Here are the things I keep thinking I need to get around... but I never seem to be able to cross anything off my list!

Buy a baby book. I rarely update Porter's (although most stuff is journaled on my blog)... but I still feel like Hudson should have a baby book too. Any suggestions on good ones?
Buy a footprint photo frame... NEED this asap... Porter has one with his newborn footprint impressed in the clay and I want one for Hudson. The only ones I can find are like $30... and I feel like I should be able to find them cheaper SOMEWHERE.
Find our baby bottles. Wash them.
Buy nipples for the above mentioned baby bottles.
Buy a can of formula.
Pack a hospital bag... or at least get a list ready of things I need to take (ie... camera, battery, etc etc...)
Find a middle name for this poor child....

37....err 36 week appointment?

2008-05-02T11:01:00.000-07:00

I had my "37 week" appointment today. Turns out they have my due date as June 1st. That blows! Why do they have it as June 1st, you ask? Because I had an early early ultrasound at 5 weeks done by my mom and that one single ultrasound dated me at being due June 1st. I opened my big mouth and that's what they're going by. Every other ultrasound, as well as my LMP has me due on May 23 (give or take a day). The sonographer at the ob's office even said that an ultrasound at 5 weeks isn't fully accurate because the baby is literally a little nothing blob and its often hard to measure accurately.

HOWEVER... Tracy (the nurse midwife) did say that since Porter was almost 2 weeks early and my body naturally dilated and went into labor early that more than likely I'll have this little guy early as well. And, better yet... she said that if I'm pregnant on the 23rd and I want to be induced on that day, that it sounds like a great day to have a baby to her. She said she has no problem inducing me since this is my second baby and because my body went into labor naturally with my first pregnancy. So... due date or not... I'll be making sure I'm induced on the 23rd. I'm still hoping for a little earlier though.

She did say his head was down and showed me where to pinch/push on my low low abdomen and feel his head. I was afraid he was sideways or something because lately he's been kicking out each side of my stomach. She said he's probably kicking with his feet out once side and pushing his butt out the other. That's fine with me... better than with Porter- he used to kick right into my ribs. That was terrible.

Great news... I have not gained anything. I actually lost 1lb from my last appointment. I know the doctor tried to tell me that most women gain a lot at the end... but just as with Porter's pregnancy I've stayed steady and/or lost a pound or so at each appointment.

That's about it for that appointment. I go back in one week.

Bad dreams and contractions

2008-04-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

For the past day or so, I thought Hudson was moving and stretching out weird. Usually if I'm laying down and I roll to my other side (which takes ohh... 5 minutes to do), my stomach gets super tight and its really painful. I thought it was just Hudson changing position, but after it happening a few times last night I thought... hmm... I really didn't FEEL Hudson move... and it usually isn't painful all around my stomach when he moves. I'm thinking its a contraction? You'd think that since I've actually HAD a baby before I'd have some sort of clue HAHA!

Anyhow...

Last night was a sleepless night. I was exhausted, so I crawled into bed around 10:20 and watched an episode of "Deliver Me". I finally crashed around 11.

At midnight, Porter came in my room and was all worked up about his Nemo cup.... he wanted some water. Crazy kid. I tried letting him sleep with me but he tosses and turns like a freaking fish out of water so I finally sent him back to his room.

An hour and a half later I was up again, having a horrible dream that someone broke into our house shooting a gun. I woke up and rolled over and had the minute long painful "movement" or "contraction" or whatever the hell it is.

I was up about 3 or 4 other times throughout the night to pee, and most of the time when I'd roll over to change position, I'd get that painful tightening. I hope this means that my body is getting itself ready for delivery in the next couple weeks. I'm freaked out that Hudson is going to be my "late baby." Porter was 10 days early, so I'm desperately banking on the idea that Hudson will be early as well.

But... then last night I was kind of freaking out thinking about him arriving in the next couple weeks. I'm not quite sure I'm ready to have 2 kids! There are lots of things around the house I probably should get done before Mr. Hudson shakes up our somewhat "regular routine". Like... scrapbooking... and fixing up my landscaping where the dogs ran through it last summer... and making a few blankets and bibs and burp cloth sets for the ladies I work with who are due (well, one had her baby the other day... 5 weeks early!)... and finding a new vehicle to trade the Fe in on... and Ryan getting the decks stained....and finalizing a few client orders.... Ok... so I can still do all that once Hudson is here, but it'd be so much easier to have things in place before he comes. Which technically means I need to get moving in order to have them done in the next 2-4 weeks.

Alright... thats enough of my rambling. I just thought I'd journal this to look back on :)

Countdown: 31 Days!

2008-04-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

I cant' believe we're a month (or hopefully less) away from meeting Hudson! I feel like this pregnancy has been somewhat surreal.... almost like I haven't fully realized we're going to have another sweet little boy in our family.

Hudson has been doing a great job making himself known to me in the past couple weeks. He's quite a mover! Tonight he was just rolling and kicking and moving all around. My stomach looked like an alien was trying to emerge. I should video tape it.

He's also been dancing around on my sciatic nerve... which had me in tears today. I thought my SI joint pain in my hip was bad.... oooh this sciatic nerve crap sucks. Its not constant (although today my hip has felt sore, but not "electric shock" sore all the time), when that nerve gets irritated (which is a couple times an hour) it nearly brings me to my knees in tears. I have to really bite my lip to try not to scream out in pain. Its embarrassing when it happens in public... or at work when I'm walking down the hall with my students. One of my 3rd graders today saw me nearly fall and said "Oh that happens to me too when I wear high heels" Oh... I wish it were just me tripping on my shoes LOL!

I came home today in a yucky mood... I went to the chiropractor and had an adjustment that really didn't help much. I got home and took Porter out to play and ended up sitting outside crying because I'm just so sick of feeling uncomfortable and in pain. Porter's so darn sweet... he came up to me and stood next to me on the step, put his arm on my back and said "What wrong, mommy? What wrong?" I told him my hip hurt and he said "Oh" and went back to playing LOL! Funny boy.

I'm trying to stop wishing away these next few weeks as at this point I'm uncertain if I have it in me to ever want to have more biological children. I honestly just don't love being pregnant and it seems to bring out the worst in me. I know we'd both love another child in our family in the future, but I am leaning more towards wanting to adopt rather than go through pregnancy again. I found myself browsing adoption websites tonight of a family who has adopted 4 times from China. I always seem to be drawn to Chinese adoptions for some reason, so who knows... maybe that's a sign that our future holds something unknown to us. I'll just need to get Ryan on board... Anyhow, I am trying to enjoy these last weeks of being pregnant just in case I/we decide not to do this again. I am so anxious/excited to get this pregnancy over with... to have Hudson here and to move forward with our "new" family of 4 that I often have to stop myself and make myself appreciate what a miracle it is to be pregnant, and how bittersweet it would be if this is my last pregnancy to experience. I don't want to wish it away and then regret not really, truly cherishing it later.

Last night I worked on Hudson's birth announcements. I think I have it finalized, and I just hope that I have the ambition to attempt to take "good" pictures of him after he's born. I used my clients pictures as "samples" in the birth announcement and I love them. I hope I capture those type of images of Hudson.

Speaking of his birth announcement... he still does not have a middle name. I used "Hudson Cole" as a sample on the announcement and sent it to Ry to approve and he said he didn't care for Cole. So, that may be off the list?! We honestly just haven't even brought up middle names lately! I guess we have a few we like, so we can always decide after he's born, I suppose.

As far as work goes... I think I've decided that I'm going to take off starting May 8th, which will be 2 weeks before my due date. I am honestly hoping that Hudson makes his arrival sometime around that date, but who knows... he'll probably be my late baby. Let's hope not! I still need to give my principal the heads up, but I don't think it'll be a problem. It kind of gives me a few "shorter" goals to look forward to... a little over 2 weeks until I'm done working and from then, less than 2 weeks until Hudson is due.

Wow. What a rambling post. I just hopped on here to gripe about my painful day.. and here I go rambling off on a tangent!

Babycenter Says...

2008-04-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

"Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same."

Well, not this kid. I swear, the past two days he's been flipping around back and forth. I was starting to get worried that he was upside down and with my luck I'll end up needing a c-section. I'm sitting here typing and it feels like he's kick boxing and doing somersaults in there. Babycenter, I don't believe you.

35 Week Appointment

2008-04-18T10:57:00.001-07:00

Very very uneventful. Especially seeing I didn't gain ANYTHING this past 2 week period! She actually said it looked like I lost a tiny bit (but... that could be clothing or shoes... ). It was Tracy, the nurse midwife I love. She's always sympathetic and she just said "Ehh... the weight isn't a problem" probably because she just in the past year had a baby so she knows how it is.

I really don't have much to update. We pretty much talked about my HAIR the whole appointment. The hair on my head, that is. She asked how I styled it and who cuts it and went on and on about how she really loves my hair. Made my freaking day.

Hudson was laying sideways or something so she had a hard time measuring me. I didn't hear the stats on what I measured or what his heartbeat was because I was in la la land that she likes my hair HAHA! (ok, also because we were still talking HAIR while she did those measurements).

Anyhow... I go back in 2 weeks and then its every week from that point on. In the homestretch....

Swelling

2008-04-17T23:10:00.001-07:00

Ahhh... that third trimester swelling. I've been trying to ignore my fingers which are beginning to swell like sausages. If I don't think about it, its not too bad. And during the day its usually ok. But when its hot and humid, or its at the end of the day, or in the morning when I wake up... my wedding ring is tight and uncomfortable and a pain in the rear to take off. I've contemplated buying an inexpensive, fake ring for the time being to wear instead of my wedding band. I'm not about to walk around this town looking like an unwed pregnant lady with a toddler in tow. You'd understand if you lived in my town.

So... those of you who had the finger swelling when you were pregnant... what did you do about your ring? Did you wear it on a different finger? Did you wear a different, larger ring in place of your wedding band? Did you suck it up and let your finger turn blue?

Preparing a toddler for a new sibling

2008-04-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

Does anyone have any advice for preparing Porter for his new brother? Any neat things we should do for/with him to get him used to the idea? Any tips/tricks to making the transition from a 3 person family to a 4 person family after we bring Hudson home?

We talk to Porter all the time about his baby brother, how he'll come out of my tummy and he can help feed him etc. I ask him what he'll do if Hudson cries and he says "Want a sucky? Want a sucky?" HAHA!

He knows where Hudson's room is, knows we've bought him some clothes and that he has some toys in there. We've looked through Porter's old scrapbooks when he was a baby and told him that Baby Hudson is going to look like that when he comes out of mommy's tummy and that he'll come home with us and be a tiny baby just like Porter was.

I just am not so sure he understands, really. I mean, he's a smart kid, but I really don't think he can put the concept together that my huge stomach is going to produce a BABY and that he's going to come home and live with us. I'm afraid Porter is going to have a huge adjustment and I'm nervous that he'll react negatively to everything.

I'd like to make the transition as smooth as possible... what else can I do to help prepare Porter? What can we do when we're all home from the hospital to make things easier on Porter? I know we will definitely need to make sure we still try to spend one on one time with P-man as often as we can once we're home, but... anything else?

How far along am I now?

2008-04-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

I have to keep checking my little ticker in the sidebar to remember how far I am. All I know is I have 5 weeks and a few days left. Hallelujah! I am so excited to meet Hudson and to have our family together and to get myself back to somewhat normal as soon as humanly possible.

At work today I made a little list of things I needed to blog about.

I found stretch marks the other day. On my stomach on the sides of my belly button and on my sides... like someone was grabbing my waist and drug their nails about 3 inches as I ran away from them LOL! I think these were the spots I had stretch marks with Porter, too.
My sciatic nerve has been KILLING ME. I only had a few instances when I was pregnant with Porter, but for the past 2 weeks I've been having lots of issues with my sciatic nerve getting messed with. I get a shocking jolt of nerve pain in my butt and down my leg and a couple times my leg has given out and I've nearly fallen. So annoying.
Hudson has had the hiccups a lot lately. He's hiccuping as I type. It seems like every night around 9pm I start feeling his little hiccups.
Work is sucking really bad right now. I feel like I barely put anything into it. I am normally creative and really excited to come up with new projects and writing activities for my students, but lately I really could care less. How horrible! I feel I'm giving a half assed effort to my job. I hope things change once I return in the fall.

I've been contemplating leaving work the first week in May. When I was pregnant with Porter I was finished student teaching at 34 weeks and I just stayed home until Porter was born (at a few days past 38 weeks). I'm now almost 35 weeks and just feeling like... ehhh... bleh. I dread going to work... I have nothing to wear that is comfortable, I'm unmotivated to get anything done, I am tired all the time, I'm super uncomfortable- I hate getting up and walking around and walking down to get my students and just... I hate working right now (not that I hate my job... its just that every little "easy" task just doesn't seem easy anymore!). But I almost feel like a total slacker if I took off work early. I don't get a maternity leave, so it'd be unpaid. The longer I work, the more paychecks I get. I know lots of people work up until they deliver, so I keep thinking... am I a slacker for wanting to take off the last 3 weeks? I really think it'd be nice to spend that time with Porter one on one, but then I wonder if it'll just make the time go by slower. Any suggestions?

I guess that's it for now. I have more to write, but I'm uncomfortable sitting in this chair any longer.

Hudson's Room

2008-04-07T19:42:00.000-07:00

I decided to take some pictures while our house looks orderly... here are a few of Hudson's room. I'm not finished with his letters. I'm not even positive I really like them that much. I might go more "simple" rather than the "animal print" in funky colors. What do you think?

(ps... photo quality sucks. Grainy. Taken with point and shoot camera)

Hudson's 3D

2008-04-02T12:13:00.001-07:00

We weren't able to get many decent shots of Hudson today (well, we got one single "ok" image) but that's ok. He was smooshed up against something in there and it just wasn't working out. Here is the one decent image my mom got of him... I included a little diagram so you can see what is what. He has a cute little pointy chin just like Porter, and his nose looks pretty similar as well.

Just call me Heifer VonSwaggen

2008-04-01T11:47:00.000-07:00

Oh lord... OH LORD... where do I start?

I had my 32 week appointment this morning. First, though, Porter and I had to go to the Diagnostic Center to do my glucose test. Yep, 32 weeks and JUST getting around to doing that. Luckily I only had to drink a small coffee sized cup full (which was kind of yummy... orange... like orange slice!) and then head up to my appointment.

P did really well in the waiting room and during my appointment (although when I had to pee in a cup he was all over the bathroom and wanting to drink from the little pee cups (empty, of course) and write on it with the marker...

I handed over my pee and went to step on the scale.

Hold your breath, ladies and gentlemen.

I somehow managed to gain 6lbs in the past 2.5 weeks. What the freaking hell!?! Let's just say I really wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I could feel the look from Clara the nurse... she attempted to kindly say "Well, I'll round it down to 166 (it was 166.6) but it is still SIX pounds...." and let her voice trail off like that. I am sure she was thinking "Why don't you try keeping your mouth SHUT once in awhile instead of stuffing it with junk?"

Anyhow, the rest went off without a hitch.... Hudson's heartbeat was in the 150's and everything else went a-ok. The nurse/midwife (Laura, who I had never seen before) asked if I planned to breastfeed and this was the first time I've admitted (other than on the blog) that no, I wasn't going to attempt to. I oddly (or, maybe not so oddly) felt the need to include an explanation as to why I wasn't going to attempt to BF, and she seemed very non-judgmental about it and empathized with the large breast issue. I just worry about the nurses at the hospital and I don't want to feel like a loser mom for not even trying. But honestly, carrying around 34DDDD boobs on a 5'3" normally 125/130lb frame is not easy.

Porter and I also stopped in to see my mom and get an ultrasound of Hudson. He was SO SO cute! He kept opening his mouth and yawning and sticking out his tongue. I love it. And, tomorrow we're going to my mom's other work to get a 3D ultrasound done... so I'm crossing my fingers that Hudson is in a good position and ready for his close up!

{Profile}

{Profile with mouth open... you can see the black "line" of his throat}
{Facing him... you can't see his eyes- they're in that dark space to the top/right- but you can see his nose as if you were looking up it, and his lips}
{Fingers- he seemed to have long fingers and fat hands!}

Hudson with no middle name

2008-03-31T15:42:00.001-07:00

Hudson still does not have a middle name. We really haven't even discussed it lately. I figure with a tad over 7 weeks to go (and crossing my fingers its more like 5 weeks....) I guess we should at least start hashing out some middle name ideas.

Here are the names we're considering so far:

Hudson Cole

Hudson Oliver

Hudson Avery

Hudson Isaiah

Hudson Elijah

Does anyone else have any suggestions? You can vote "Other" and add your suggestions there if you want.

T Minus 7.5 Weeks

2008-03-31T15:28:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks have been uncomfortable and painful. I'm so so so ready to just have Hudson here and have our little family of four all together. I'm ready to get back to somewhat normal... to have my body back to myself.

I just got back from a trip to Chicago with some girlfriends and while the trip was a great time, I really couldn't enjoy it as much as I wanted as I was hobbling around with painful hips and I was tired and uncomfortable and stretched feeling. I've gotten to that point where my lungs just don't feel like they hold as much air. I feel like there's pressure on my lungs and bladder all the time. My hips have been out of whack for a few weeks now, and just in the past week sciatic nerve pain has been added to my SI joint pain. If I pivot my legs/hips I feel either a stabbing pain in my upper hip/lower back or a sharp tingling nerve pain down my leg. Neither are fun.

I have an appointment tomorrow and I'm going in before to do my glucose test. I still haven't had that done! I figure, though, that I haven't felt weird after eating or anything like that so I'm sure everything should be ok.

I've decided I won't be attempting to breastfeed with Hudson. I was really gung ho on BF'ing with Porter and it ended up not working out (because of my migraines... P wouldn't latch, pumping was increasing severity of my migraines and I was just not well...) and I had really thought I'd try again this time. However, as selfish as this sounds... I have GOT to get rid of these G sized boobs. Its affecting my self esteem and I know it'll only be worse after having Hudson. I just need to get back to semi-normal ASAP. I feel a bit like a failure and a selfish person, but I just can't imagine these boobs once my milk comes in. Right now they're as large as they were when my milk came in with Porter. So... can you imagine? Sick.

I've been browsing a few online places for one piece outfits for Hudson for this summer. I'm not quite sure how to dress a newborn in the summer! I am not a big fan of "just onesies" as clothes (same with wearing sleepers 24/7) and in the summer there just are not that many clothing options for newborns- other than onesies. While I have plenty of onesies to last him until the end of summer, I'd like to have some one-piece outfits that he can wear as well (when I mentioned this to Leslie and Maria yesterday at the outlet mall, both of their mouths dropped open... I am also not a big fan of one piece outfits at all either...). So... I found a few cute outfits at Gap that I like. I am going to keep an eye out for them to go on sale. If anyone happens to notice them on sale, shoot me an email. :)

30 Week Appointment

2008-03-15T12:59:00.001-07:00

I had a doctor's appointment on Thursday... quickest one I've ever had! Dr. P was on his way up to L&D so he was kind of in a rush. Luckily, everything this pregnancy has been a-ok so far so I didn't have much to meet with him about.

Here's the quick low-down:

-I managed to ONLY gain 3lbs last month! WOO HOO!
-Hudson's heartbeat was 150bpm... although he was quite the squirmer and kicker and Dr. P had a hard time keeping him in one spot to measure his hb. He ended up having to push on one side of my stomach to "trap" him in one spot and "hold" him still.
-I measured 29weeks
-I start going every 2 weeks now! Oh my gosh.. that's so weird. Just 10 more weeks to go! Although, honestly, I'm hoping for only 8 more weeks.... I dread that last month. UGH.

That's about it... kind of a boring update! But, I guess that's better than something being wrong :)

Ritalin, anyone?

2008-03-07T20:22:00.000-08:00

Mr. Hudson is quite the active child. He is all over the last few days... kicking and turning and poking every part of my insides. I can barely sit down without having to pee- even if I just went pee minutes before. And I swear it feels like he's kicking at my crotch. OUCH. Sometimes when he moves it feels like he's trying to scrape his way out, and his stretches are getting very uncomfortable. I remember at the end of my pregnancy with Porter (end being... 36weeks +) being super uncomfortable and having Porter stretch out and it being unbearably painful. If Hudson is already causing uncomfortableness and scratching at only 29 weeks... I'm scared for the end of this pregnancy!!

I went to Target today and bought two new shirts and some accessories to wear with them. I want to have something somewhat cute for Chicago-- I'm going to be the only preggo there who is hobbling around with bozo boobs and a round midsection, so I figured I'd better have at least 2 semi-cute outfits on hand to wear to boost my self esteem somewhat. Not that maternity clothes are all that cute, especially when your boobs take up as much room in the shirts as your belly does. I'm not sure what SHOES to wear in Chicago... I can't wear low shoes with any of my jeans- they're all too long and I don't care to have them hemmed as I mainly wear wedge heels all the time. But... I'm not sure wearing wedge heels all day walking in Chicago will be all that comfortable especially being 32 weeks pregnant!

More Etsy Love...

2008-03-06T20:11:00.001-08:00

These BIBS! Such cute bibs!

Turtle in pebbles

Sweet Pea Bundle

Reversible Guitar Bib

Goliath Monster Belly

Diaper Bags that no one else has...

2008-03-06T19:39:00.000-08:00

A bit ago I posted about some baby items that I was wanting/needing. One of those was a diaper bag- one that would be somewhat practical for 2 kids. Although Porter doesn't require much, I still toss a diaper, baggie of wipes and snacks in my purse (err... big honking tote bag). So, those items will join all the menagerie of junk that you haul around with an infant.

I recently found a blog that Zoe has- why the heck were you hiding this, girl? Anyhow, I saw a bag posted on her blog and I just loved it. Its from Etsy. Why the hell did I never think to look on Etsy for a hip, unique diaper bag? Why buy one from Target or Wendy Bellissimo or Coach or Pottery Barn when you can have something that no one else has? HAHA! Well... I've found quite a few bags that might work for diaper bags, and quite a few more that I'd love just to have as a bag. If there's one thing I love to buy its bags... how many bags can a person have?

So... some of my favorites... what do you think?

9 Pocket Asian Print corduroy messenger by GlamBaby

Lite Brite Shoulder Bag by BlackBags

Makido Shoulder Bag by BlackBags

SoHo Diaper bag by SassySatchel (available in other patterns..)

Lollipop Messenger Bag by Computerfashions

28 Weeks

2008-03-02T07:12:00.001-08:00

Not much exciting going on here. So far this pregnancy has been pretty uneventful, thankfully.

Hudson has been moving around like a madman. He's very active and kids and twists and turns all the time.

I'm getting so excited to meet him. I, oddly, keep getting so excited to go into labor (obviously, not anytime soon, though) and to experience all that again. Not that I look forward to the pain and all the horror that goes along with labor/delivery, but just to have those first two days with a new person in our life and everything is so... new... and exciting (ok, and exhausting and painful and stressful and emotional...). But then I get so sad thinking about the end of this pregnancy. I know how fast time has gone by with Porter and how you blink and they change. I know it'll go by even faster with Hudson as we'll have two little boys to keep up with. I just want to soak it all up as much as I can and remember every little thing about them.

I need to do my 28 week belly pictures today and post them. I'm not feeling awfully huge, but my boobs... ugh... Porter put my bra on his head and let's just say one cup fit his head like a hat. I'm carrying an 'almost' newborn in my belly and two 2-year old heads on my chest. Isn't that lovely?

Today I want to organize Hudson's room a little more. Right now its looking like a storage/catch all room. I'd like to have it look a little less like that and a little more like a nursery waiting for a special little guy to arrive. We'll see how far I get on that task today.

Videos

2008-02-27T19:56:00.000-08:00

Just a few videos I found on YouTube (no, neither of these are my belly). I got addicted tonight LOL! Thought I'd share.

Here is me... pregnant....

2008-02-27T19:46:00.001-08:00

The name is....

2008-02-17T20:22:00.000-08:00

As of now, his name is Hudson. Hudson with no middle name.

I absolutely can not get Ryan to budge on Sullivan, although I adore the name. The only name we agree on is Hudson, so Hudson it is.

I just can't seem to feel like its "the name", do you know what I mean? I kind of felt that way with Porter's name, so I'm hoping that if we try it out on the little dude in utero, that maybe it'll just start to feel like his name, just like Porter's did. If we stumble across something we (err I) love even more (and can convince Ryan to go along with), we'll go with that. But, for now, he is Hudson.

I bought letters for his nursery, but I'm holding off on painting them. That's how unsure I am. Its just such a weird feeling. I still keep calling him "the baby" or "baby brother." Note to self: Must try to use name when referring to him.

I should tell you... in order for me to agree on Hudson, I told Ryan this was my stipulation:
1) *IF* we have Child #3 and *IF Child #3 ends up being Boy Child #3, then I get 100% first-name naming rights.

Isn't that mean of me?

Anyhow, maybe I just need to find a great middle name for him. So far, the names we like are:

Hudson Oliver (Oliver meaning "peace")
Hudson Avery (Avery meaning "nobility")
Hudson Isaiah (Isaiah meaning "God is salvation")

Porter's middle name "Evan" means "God is gracious". I really want a middle name with some sort of good meaning. Any ideas?

Name

2008-02-16T19:45:00.000-08:00

Ok, before I tell the name..... here are two letters from the first name. Can you guess?

More room decorating

2008-02-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that I covered a lampshade in the Zoo fabric?

Paintings

2008-02-16T12:36:00.000-08:00

I finally decided on what to paint for the baby's room. For Porter's nursery, I painted an airplane painting. For P's big boy room I added a helicopter painting (I'll post pics on the regular blog later).

I wasn't sure what to paint for Baby's room (who, by the way, has a name now... I'll announce in a new post). I found a few pictures online that I liked, and I was able to copy/recreate them on my own. So, I won't and can't take full credit for the idea/vision. I'm sure its a tad bit... unethical, but its not like I printed out the pic online and framed it. I guess I consider it no different than another photographer recreating an image/pose that I took. Not exactly "creative" but why reinvent the wheel, right?

Anyhow, I wanted specific sizes and on canvas so I didn't have to frame them. I combined images from a seller on Etsy (Constant Dreamer) and an artist whose paintings I found on Art.com (Erica Vess).

Here they are..

25week doctor's appointment

2008-02-13T21:06:00.000-08:00

Well, this was by far the most depressing doctors appointment I've had thus far. Ok, I shouldn't be THAT dramatic... because everything with Baby is a-ok.

However...

I stepped on the scale.

And even the nurse gasped and said "Oh! 10 lbs this month!"

Yikes.

When Dr. P walked in I had a sheepish grin, I'm sure, as he asked "What's that look for?" I told him I had gained a lot this month and he looked at the chart and said "Oh... well, as long as its not every month, but try to cut back a bit on the sweets and junk food."

My whole appointment we basically talked about my eating habits... errr lack of. I admitted I have a horrible sweet tooth and that I eat horribly. I told him he wouldn't believe how much ice cream I have eaten in the past month... I've eaten a mint milkshake at least 3-4 times a week. Some weeks, every night.

He says "That's what'll kill you... you can't be doing that!" Oh man. I tried to justify it that this acid reflux/throat burning was the culprit... milkshakes are the ONLY thing that makes it better. Kind of. Its just yummier than Tums or Pepcid LOL!

We did revisit my charts from Porter, as he tried to tell me I'd typically gain weight at the end. I told him with Porter I lost weight at the end, that or gained only a pound or two a month. He didn't believe me but when he looked at my charts he said "Yep, well, looks like you're following that same pattern... you had a few months in the middle that you gained a lot, but it tapered off at the end."

As of now, I'm about 5lbs ahead of what I was at this point in my pregnancy with Porter. I gained a total of 40lbs with him, topping out at 170ish. Today, I weighed in at 156. So, I need to chill it out or else I'll be blowing the charts away!

I went grocery shopping and I'm going to really try to eat better and not eat so many sweets. That's my problem... I indulge so much in sweets and I don't think a second thought about it. My philosophy is that pregnancy is my time to be big and fat. I'll never be one of those cute, petite pregnant girls, as my boobs make me look like a freaking football player. My entire torso, belly to neck, is like one big, rolly, lumpy mass. So, why not be happy and eat whatever. The weight can be lost afterwards.

Tomorrow for lunch I'm taking a tuna fish sandwich (good lord... is tuna in or out for pregnancies this year? I can't remember if its safe now or not.... the guidelines change every freaking day), carrots and peanut butter, Dannon light and fit yogurt and probably a granola bar. However... it is our Valentine's Day party at school so I'm sure I'll get my share of sweets HAHA!

25w 4d

2008-02-12T17:18:00.000-08:00

Just a random little update.

--Last night Porter and I took a trip to Westland (about an hour away) to pick up this:
Tracy, I believe, commented on my last post about finding a Sit n Stand at Burlington Coat Factory, so I checked out their website. Why did I travel an hour for technically the same stroller that I could have bought at my local Target? Well, it is tan. And my infant carseat is tan/black. And I'm anal and I want them to somewhat match. BCP is the only place I found that carries the "Vanilla Bean" color of this stroller. Everywhere else seems to have gray and red and silver. Not so hot with my tan/black carseat.

Porter seemed excited about the stroller. He wanted me to push him all around the store in the display model. We'll see how long his fascination lasts.

--This baby boy has been kicking and flipping and making all sorts of moves. He's an active one, that's for sure.

--I've been sleeping so lightly lately. I'm sooo not excited about that. I remember at the end end end of my pregnancy with Porter that I couldn't sleep, but I don't remember much about turning into a light sleeper at 25 weeks. Anyhow, it seems like every little noise wakes me up, and I often just wake up for the hell of it. I hate not getting a full nights sleep! And then Ryan gets up for work at 4:30am-ish, his alarm clock goes off and he gets OUT of bed, grabs his little battery operated alarm clock and climbs back IN bed (with the alarm clock in hand) and hits snooze and sleeps with the alarm clock until it goes off again. So, regardless of if I want to or not, I'm woken up around 4:30am every day, and then again when the snooze goes off. Grrr......

--I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow... I'll update then if there's anything exciting.

Researching Baby Gear.... need opinions please

2008-02-09T09:46:00.000-08:00

Luckily, with having another baby boy, we don't have too much stuff to have to purchase. The child has more clothes than he can possibly ever need.....

(these are just newborn and 0-3 month stuff!)

I feel like we've done nothing to prepare for this baby... its like we have nothing to do but sit and wait for him. I obviously have been trying to keep busy and occupied with getting his room together. And I've also been making lists of other baby gear that we will need now that we'll be dealing with two kids, rather than just one baby.

Here are some things I'm looking at buying, most are things we didn't have/use/need with Porter. If any of you moms have opinions/thoughts on them, please let me know!

Sit n Stand Stroller. Porter will only be 2yrs 3mos old when Baby Boy is born... he is definitely not ready to walk around the stores or go on walks with me without having a stroller. And, seeing I'll be home with the boys all summer- I will definitely not be sitting around home going stir crazy. I can't stand being cooped up in the house. Originally I was thinking of getting the One Step Ahead brand, but I just saw yesterday at Target that they have an all charcoal gray one for $119. Furthermore, OSA has a convertible double stroller that converts to the Sit n Stand. I thought about that one at first, but I think I'll forego that and just get the basic Sit n Stand. Porter listens well enough that I think he'll be ok on the bench seat. Does anyone have the Baby Trend one from Target? How do you like it? Pros/Cons? What about the One Step Ahead one? How do you like it? Pros/Cons?

Hotslings Wrap/Sling: I have a sling that my aunt bought me when I had Porter and it was useful for while around the house. However, I found it to be very bulky on the shoulders (its really padded) and I want to try something a little more "sleek" (if carrying a baby can be sleek HAHA!). Target now has one pattern of Hotslings at the store and it folds up SO small. I could put it in the diaper bag easily, and take up no more room than a diaper or two. I am not sure if using a wrap will be more or less useful with having a 2 year old to chase around, but I'm thinking there might be situations that it'd be helpful. There are a million different wraps out there, and I'm not sure which ones are the best. Anyone have any opinions? I've heard of the Maya Wraps, Kangaroo Korner, Peanut Shell, etc etc. I guess my #1 feature I want is lightweight, not bulky, and small enough to throw in a diaper bag. I would love input/advice on selecting a wrap if any of you have used them or tried any of these brands.

Speaking of diaper bags... I'm in the market for a new diaper bag. Right now I just throw a couple diapers and a baggy of wipes in my over sized (aka... enormous) purse... bag... luggage tote. I like big purses. With Porter I used a corduroy messenger bag from Target, which I still use when he goes to the sitters. However, I think with 2 kids I might need/want something a little more structured to keep things organized. I want something cool and stylish, but practical. Is that too much to ask for? I've heard good things about the Pottery Barn Ultimate Diaper Bag, but I'm hesitant to spend $60 on a diaper bag! Any opinions on that? I've also browsed Target (luuuv Target!) and found a few that I like there as well... just not sure about ordering online and paying shipping if I hate the bag, kwim?

I think we also might get the Bumbo Play Tray. We loved our Bumbo (and Porter still loves it!), and the tray wasn't out on the market when P was little. I think it might come in handy. Does anyone have this and use it?

Bathtime: With Porter, we had a baby tub and I hated using it. I gave it to Leslie I think. It was easier and more convenient for us to bathe him in the kitchen sink. I bought one of those spongy bathtub pads and just leaned that up against the back of the sink and put him in there. We have since thrown the spongy thing away since it was, well, a sponge. I was thinking about trying one of these. Has anyone used one a bath sling? Did it work well until the baby could sit up alone in the tub/sink? We need/want something that can fold up skinny, or be thrown in a small closet. We have a tiny house, and space is limited!

Bouncer: I've been thinking of maybe maybe buying a new bouncer. Just so that I have something new for this baby to use. The bouncer we used with Porter was a hand me down from someone... and its pretty no frills. Not sure if it even has vibrate or music. I am clueless when it comes to selecting one of these. One of my clients actually had a really cool one that jiggled and wiggled with the slightest of movement, seemed very soothing and almost gliding like. I haven't found it online at all, so I might have to email her to find out where they got it. Anyhow, here is the one I was looking at. I also like the Papasan one as well, but not sure about the size and how long the baby would enjoy sitting in it.

So... those are the only things I've been able to think of that might be useful for a second child. Do any of you moms of 2+ kids have any baby items that you found to be lifesavers when going from a singlet to a duo? Please share!

Other than that, we'll just be stocking up on diapers, diapers diapers. Fun stuff.

Baby's room is coming along...

2008-02-06T20:27:00.000-08:00

Today I tackled some sewing projects for the baby's room. Project #1: a pillow, inspired by these pillows (that are way too expensive for me!!)

And the bedskirt... which I have no clue how it turned out looking so decent. I am sure there's a much easier way to measure fabric so its "square" and to sew the pieces together. I have no clue what I'm doing, honestly.

The mobile for above the baby's bed. I just clipped it to the curtain rod for the time being.

The friends from World Market, taking up residence on the new bookshelf.

24 Weeks.... review

2008-02-03T19:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, I guess I should start journaling a little better with this pregnancy.

Starting Monday I began having these terrible inner thigh/leg joint pains. I thought it was from walking a lot on Monday (working a full day, and going back and forth between my room and the 3rd grade rooms). Anyhow, the pain felt like I had done a kazillion side leg lifts. If I stepped or pivoted to the side, my inner thighs/joints screamed out in pain. I waddled all week. I endured comment after comment from coworkers that I needed to hit up the boss for a scooter or something. If I got up after sitting for awhile, it took my legs/joints (because it really wasn't my leg muscles... it felt like my joints... like they were stiff and tight) to warm up.

I've asked so many people if they felt like this, and I've gotten lots of weird looks. Apparently I'm weird. I seriously feel like my hips/upper legs bow in or something... like they're turning inward. Weird, huh?

The other night my mom was working at the hospital while I was scrapbooking in Chelsea so I stopped in for a peek at Baby Barczak. The first image we saw of him was a wide open view of his... boy parts! They were clear as day, spread eagle. Crazy kid. He was also so cute practicing swallowing and sticking his tongue out. I can't wait to meet him!

24 Weeks

2008-02-03T13:39:00.001-08:00

And... a progression so far....
Oh man... 12 weeks looks soo.... skinny. And I thought I was pudgy then. HA!

23 Week Update

2008-01-25T04:36:00.000-08:00

Wow, I've kind of ditched the blog for awhile, huh? It just seems like there's not much to update right now. Its the "Second Trimester Honeymoon" kind of thing.... I really kind of love this stage of pregnancy. Most days I think "I could totally do this again. I LOOOOVE pregnancy." But I know in a few months I'll be miserable, and if I do ever get pregnant again I'll be cursing my stupid idea to do so for the first 12-14 weeks.

The baby is moving around a lot now, and his kicks and jabs are getting stronger and stronger every day. I love it. Ryan was able to feel him kicking last night for the first time. I've started to notice the baby (gotta get him a name.... sheesh!) get active right after I eat a lot of times.

Other than some icky acidy-reflux going on, everything else is doing a-ok. So far my hips and back and shoulders and neck aren't hurting too badly. I do have little spells of a painful/limpy hip, but ususally if I stretch or go to the chiropractor it straightens out and I'm feeling better. I hope that if I keep up regular weekly chiro visits I won't have the hip pains that I had with Porter (even though I did very regular chiro visits when I was pregnant with Porter).

I started buying up diapers yesterday. I figured if I had coupons I should start stocking up on some packs. I opened a pack of newborn diapers and those things are SOOO tiny! I can't wait to have another little itty bitty one around here, but then some days I think "I am so not ready for this!"

We're still undecided on names. I have it narrowed down to 2 names. Ryan, not so many LOL! He's pretty set. I have my reasons for each name... one I feel is "safe"... that everyone will pretty much like, but I have a feeling it'll catch on and become somewhat trendy. The other I feel like it'd be much more original, and that's really what I'm wanting in a name. I *love* when people say about Porter's name "Oh, that's such a neat name! I've never heard it before!" and thats what I want for this baby too. However, Ryan doesn't particularly care for my "more original" name.

I've been contemplating/debating/deciding on breastfeeding. I know I technically really don't have to decide right now, but I don't want to do what happened with Porter and pump/nurse for 5 days and then stop and have prolonged and encouraged my milk to come in full force. I have pros and cons for each. I don't particularly agree with the "children are smarter and healthier when breastfed" because Porter is a very smart little boy and is quite healthy. My main reason for wanting to breastfeed is mainly not spending money on formula and for the experience. But, I really like the convenience and freedom that bottle feeding gives me (I always feel bad for bf'ing moms who don't get help at nightly feedings, or can't leave their baby for more than a few hours... oh no... I really neeeeeed those things). I guess my #1 main holdup is my boobs. I'll be straight up with you... I was just looking for a 36DDDD (yes, 4 D's) bra the other day online. And I know when my milk comes in they'll be even larger. And I just can't deal with boobs like this. That is the one thing I want to go back to normal ASAP after I deliver. My freak show boobs. They're heavy and they hurt my back and neck and I just don't see how I could possibly dress in normal, non-baggy-t-shirt clothes if I have DDDD+ boobs all sumer. If someone could guarantee that once I got into a nursing groove that my boobs would go back to normal (WHILE NURSING), I'd probably try again. But I don't think anyone can do that.

I skipped out on my 20 week belly picture. I totally forgot about it. Well, no... I remembered, I was just too lazy to set up the tripod. I will do one next week at 24 weeks.

20 Week Appointment

2008-01-13T07:33:00.001-08:00

Friday we had our ultrasound. Everything looked just fine with Baby Boy Barczak. He wasn't too wiggly during the scan but he did kick me pretty good a few times. The new machine also does 3D and 4D and the tech tried to do a 3D at the end but by then our stubborn little guy had changed position and was all nestled in and she couldn't get that good of a picture of his face. She said if we come back later for a scheduled ultrasound she'd try again, and that later on the pictures are much better as right now they just look very skeletal (which he did). I am not really hoping for another ultrasound scheduled by my doctor as that would only mean that something was going wrong. I think at maybe my 28 week appointment I'll ask the midwife if she'd let me sneak in for another scan.

Anyhow, I do have a few pictures that the put on DVD, although none of them that great. I'll have to go see my mom in a few weeks to get some better pictures. She also put a short video clip on there as well but the video is not near as long as Porter's video (on VHS).

His face. you can see the

Leg... foot to the right and pointing down

So... whats the rundown of pregnancy things going on thus far?

I've had a couple bouts with acid reflux. I had NO idea what the hell was wrong with me as I'd be sitting there minding my own business and all of a sudden I had acidy steam and liquid in the back of my throat that made me start coughing because my throat burned and itched so bad. That lead to a non-stop barfing of everything and anything I had in my stomach. Weird thing is, I didn't feel sick at all. Its only happened twice, both evenings after I ate summer sausage, cheese and crackers for lunch.
I gained SEVEN pounds in the past 4 weeks. NICE! So, if I go from my first appt weight of 130lbs I've gained a total of 18lbs so far. EWWW. I guess thats not horrible for 20weeks but still...
Still no resolve on the name. I am actually kind of thinking it'd be fun to take a few names to the hospital and name him once we see him. But I'm freaked that I'd be just as stumped and torn between names that we'd end up being threatened to name him or else we couldn't leave the hospital. Which, with my indecisiveness would probably lead to us just living at the hospital HAHA!
My due date was confirmed as May 23rd. I was all confused as my very first ultrasound dated me with a June 1st due date, which is what the doctors had been going by. May 23rd matches up with my LMP, though, and their "official" ultrasound confirmed it.

Names names names

2008-01-04T05:37:00.000-08:00

Well, we (or, should I say *I*) am still in debate over the baby's name. I'm actually considering waiting until he's born to decide. But, my only fear is as depicted in my crazy dream last night... I'd be completely stumped on what to name him and come up with something delusional like Elvis.

Ryan is completely set on Hudson Oliver. I'm not. While I've loved the name Hudson for the past 2 years (it was "runner up" for Porter), I just don't know.... I'm just not sure.

While in St. Louis we all tossed around name ideas, in which I shot down a ton of them before the last sound of it even came out of the suggester's mouth. What can I say... I know what I like LOL!

Some of my criteria, because I have criteria:

Can't start with a B (I don't care for same letter first/last names)
Can't start with the "ar" sound as in Barczak
Can't end with "ack" sound like in Barczak
Can't end with "er" like Porter

Hmm... I felt like I had more criteria than that.

So, some of the names that are currently on our "posibility" list are:

Hudson
Sullivan (new one, and one of my fav's!)
Pierce (although my love for this is waning)
Gibson
Grant
Madden (same as Pierce... not feelin' it so much)

Now, let me give you some background on Sullivan. I can't remember who suggested it... Heather or I. But, I love it! However, Ryan is totally against it because we once had a cat for ohh... a few months... whose name was Sullivan. We got him from the shelter when we bought this house (5 1/2 years ago) and a few months after we got him we let him be an indoor/outdoor cat. He was neutered but we didn't have a collar for him. He disappeared for awhile, and then showed up one night with a collar and nametag/phone number. His new home was one block over and his new name was Dexter. So, technically, his name is Dexter.

Anyhow... for some odd reason I'm all into our pet names for kid names. I liked Reese for a girl, and we had a dog named Reese up until I was pregnant with Porter. And, now I love Sullivan.

So, what are your thoughts on names? Would the history behind Sullivan make you hate it?

for Baby's room

2008-01-04T05:26:00.000-08:00

While we were in St. Louis, I did a bit of shopping for the baby's room. I didn't get the "minky" fabric in chocolate brown like I'd hoped, but I found some cute stuffed animals that match the room perfectly!

First, I found this elephant and zebra at World Market. Who would have thought that I'd find stuffed animals that match PERFECTLY at World Market??

And then, at Old Navy, I found this cute, leggy little monkey. I keep calling it a frog. His name may end up being Froggy HAHA!

Dreaming

2008-01-04T05:08:00.000-08:00

I've had a few weird pregnancy dreams during this pregnancy but never wrote them down. Last night I had a dream that I had the baby early. I don't remember the details but I somehow was at the hospital, had the baby in a super short, painless delivery (HA! I wish!) and Dr. Robertson, my family doctor, was the one who delivered him (another ha ha!). Oddly, even though born at ohh... 19 weeks gestation... he was totally fine and had a ton of thick, black hair. My mom came to the hospital and we left with him to go get dinner with my aunt (OMG too crazy!). And I never cleared it with the hospital... just left with him. Then I returned him, but then *I* left and went to hang out with friends, go to the park with some kids I don't remember who they were, went to some kind of gym or something where I had to take a shower and use a towel that was hanging on the rack because I didn't have one. And then last, Heather, Katie and two other people I don't recognize (or remember, at least) were sitting on Heather's couch and just chatting. I mentioned that all I could think to name the baby was "Elvis". Katie says that she still calls her son Donnie "Otto" (pronounced "oh-toe" tee hee!!) and that before he was born she had two bottles... one that said "Otto" and one that had some girls name on it and then they decided to name him Donnie when he was born.

Ok, how is that for weird! HAHA!

17 Weeks

2007-12-21T14:14:00.001-08:00

And: pregnant with Porter at 17 Weeks:

Its for sure...

2007-12-18T17:32:00.001-08:00

It's a boy!

Ryan met me at my mom's work today so he could finally get to see his newest little boy. I had wanted to take my point and shoot camera to record and post a little video on here, but of course I forgot. (Our ultrasound in January we can take in a DVD to record it) He was measuring around 17w5days, so almost a week ahead of what he had measured before, and I believe that is almost 2 weeks ahead of what the doctors have me at. (Their due date is June 1, but the ultrasound keeps saying May 23). I guess when I go in in January they can decide what they want to do. I guess it really doesn't matter because the baby will come whenever he is ready, right?

Anyhow, we got a buttload of pictures. Baby Boy was all snuggled in cozy looking. We got to see a lot of his face, eyes, hands and cute little feet. He was moving his arms all around, stretching them over his head and playing with his face. I can't wait to meet him!

Sooo... this confirmation has given me "permission" to go forth with my nursery plans. I ordered 4 yards of the 2D Zoo fabric today and I plan to make his blanket (which should used 1.5-2 yards) and possibly a changing pad cover and maybe wrap some canvases with it. Who knows. I just figured if I was paying for shipping I might as well make sure I have enough for whatever I may want to make.

I'm going to check the local fabric stores for that super soft chenille "minky" fabric that all the baby blankets seem to be made out of (you know, the ones that are flat or sometimes with the raised dots?). I want to get a chocolate brown for the opposite side of his blanket. The only minky fabric I can find online is $13/yard. EEK!

I've decided to skip the bumper. I'm making the bedskirt though. I like the little extra decorative touch and its nice to hid the two bins of toys we store under the crib. As for additional stuff in the room... not sure yet.

I also bought Porter two quilts today. I'll post about them on my regular blog, though.

To Bumper or Not to Bumper?

2007-12-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

That is the big question.

I'm settled on the nursery bedding. I'm going with Alexander Henry's 2D Zoo in pool. I am going to have to buy the fabric and either make or have it made. I love this set (as posted earlier), and I have even found someone to make the bedding for me. I'm going to make the quilt/blanket.... it looks easy enough. But the bumper and dust ruffle, I don't know. I know for sure I want the dust ruffle, but should I have it made? It'd be around $25 to have it made, plus the cost of fabric (which is running $10-12/yard).

I chatted with my mother in law and I am thinking I'm going to skip the bumper and attempt to make the dust ruffle. We made Porter's, although it didn't have the pleat or the trim, so hopefully I'll be able to figure it out.

The bumper.. I love it. I really do. But, I also loved Porter's $80 bumper from Pottery Barn Kids and we ended up taking it off and tossing it in the closet after numerous annoying sheet changes from pukey/leaky diaper baby. As much as I'd like to say "I *WILL* use the bumper this time, I know in reality that after I have to change the sheets twice in the middle of the night being exhausted and sleep deprived, it too will end up in the closet.

I'm going to have my mom scan me again tomorrow, just to get the "for sure" its a boy (Ryan will finally get to see an ultrasound... he's going to take a late lunch and meet me there) and once we have confirmation I think I'm going to get the fabric and start working on things in January.

If we're still in this house (which I'm hoping not, but there's a good chance we will be), we're going to move Porter into the play room and redo that for him in February for his birthday. The baby will move into Porter's room, and I'll keep the green/blue parts of the wall and paint the mocha brown a more chocolate brown to match the bedding. I'm going to paint the square canvases- I found blank ones at JoAnn's. I think I'll do the background a light blue instead of green since the top part of the room is green already.

So, questions for my three readers:

1) Did you buy a bumper for your child's crib? Did you love it or hate it?

2) Do you have any ideas on how to bring more of the zoo fabric into the room?

15w 5d

2007-12-10T19:12:00.000-08:00

Well, I had wanted to post yesterday, but our internet was on the fritz. For the past week I've kept thinking I had felt the baby flutter a little, but I kept brushing it off as my imagination. Well, yesterday he was moving all about and there was no doubt that I was feeling little baby flutters. I just love this part of pregnancy... I'm going to try to enjoy the next 2 or 3 months and then the end-all hell will set in and I'll be miserable LOL!

Ryan and I are still discussing names. I think we're kind of getting settled on a name, although I told him I still don't want to commit yet.

I had a doctor's appointment today. Pretty uneventful. Heartbeat was 150bpm. I gained another 5lbs. Fun stuff. The doctor said I was measuring on time (I think they have me at 14 weeks, but the sonograms measure the baby to be close to 16 weeks by this point). I told Dr. P that my mom had scanned me a few times and we knew the gender of the baby, and he said "Oh well, its still early" as if I'm insane or something and hadn't seen the obvious penis inbetween the little guys legs. Oh well. Our "official" ultrasound is January 11th. Man, I'd have died waiting that long to find out! LOL!

Doesn't that look like an obvious boy to you?

The Name Game: Boy Version

2007-12-08T18:11:00.001-08:00

Well, our next step is to name this little guy. I absolutely hate referring to him as "the baby"... it seems so... impersonal. We had decided on Porter's name around 20 weeks. I remember Porter being the only name that seemed to "fit", even though I tried for weeks to try to find another name, unable to settle on Porter. However, I'm so glad now that I did as I love his name and it fits him so well.

I have a few names for this little guy that I really like, and a slim few that are right at the tip top of the list. And possibly "the one" but, as I was last time, I'm not ready to commit just yet.

Ryan is stubborn, as always. He's unable to come up with any creative names that I haven't heard 50 million times (he was so proud of himself when he said he found the "perfect" name... Caden... Uh... yeah, right along with 500 thousand other Cadens, Aidens, Bradens, Jadens and Haydens. HAHA!). So, when I suggest a name he usually vetoes it right away, and then after I bug him with it 10 more times or so he starts to warm up on it. So, right now there are two, and only two, names that he will even consider. Everything else he shoots down right away.

So, let's pretend Ryan doesn't have a say in this. Really, he does, but for fun, let's just look at my list, ok? Now, not all of these names I *love* but they all have a bit of potential, and of course there are some I love much more than others.

I did have Graham on the list, but I think Graham Barczak reminds me of "Grandma Barczak" and a little bit of somehting like a graham bar... whatever that is... graham cracker mixed with granola bar??

I also really liked Tobin, but Tobin Barczak sounds too... "B-ish". Ryan, of course, thought the same.

So, here's my little poll. I'm sure I'll post again soon with an updated list and lots of these scratched off. Which name both a) goes well with Porter and b) sounds good with the last name Barczak.

Bedding

2007-12-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

Surprisingly, I've had quite an easy time finding bedding that I absolutely love. The only problem... it is $618 from Posh Tots. Yeah right!

I found the zoo print fabric online, and the other fabrics I'm pretty sure I can get something similar from JoAnn's. I'm going to make this sucker! That, or maybe hire it out to have someone else do it? How would I go about finding someone to make it?

I also want to get this Jellycat Truffles blue elephant for him. In the picture it looks like a stuffed animal, but it actually is like a big, fat, round, squishy pillow when its laid out flat. And its sooooo soft.
(here's an example of how it looks all laid out)

It's a....

2007-12-03T05:53:00.000-08:00

BOY!

Porter is going to have a little brother. A partner in crime. A buddy to build train tracks with and drive matchbox cars all around the house.

I'll be totally, 100% honest with you. At first I was a bit... bummed. Before I got pregnant I really wanted to have another boy. I figured we'd have 3 kids, and I've always pictured us with 2 boys and a youngest daughter. But, once I was pregnant I realized what a wench I am when I'm pregnant and that I had kind of hoped that we'd have a girl so I could say our family was done, complete, and I didn't have to go through another pregnancy. And, furthermore, I'll admit I did mourn for a few days... I mourned for the daughter that never was, the daughter I wasn't destined to have at this time.

(I've always wondered why boys seem to be the "not as wanted" gender. But... I think its because that opinion is coming from us women (if you ask men... they all want boys). Boys are awesome, but every woman wants a little girl, a daughter, that she can relate to... to relive her childhood of playing dolls and barbies and dressing up as a princess with. Its not that I think girls are better than boys, its that I just want to experience that mother-daughter bond/relationship.)

I'm getting over that, getting used to the fact that I won't be shopping in any of the 53 racks of girl clothes at Target but the minimal 5 racks of boy stuff. Getting used to the fact that I'll be the mom in the bleachers cheering on her sons in their basketball games, and refereeing sleepovers with goofy, wild boys playing pranks on each other and giving each other ball shots. Getting used to the fact that I'll be the queen bee in this house for the next few years. And, who knows what is in store for our family. Maybe my boys will get to have a little sister to look over and protect sometime in the future. I think in a year or two we may consider adoption as I'm not sure I want to go through pregnancy again.

I'm also getting so excited to see this little guy. I'm thrilled that, so far, he looks healthy and happy and as cute as a little 2D baby on an ultrasound can look. I keep wondering if he'll look like Porter, or if he'll have Ryan's dark eyes rather than my and Porter's hazel eyes. Will he have dark dark hair like Ryan, or medium brown like Porter and I? Will he have my nose or Ryan's? Will he be a good baby, as Porter was, or will he be my hellion child? Will he be a talker like Porter or quiet and reserved? All those things just have me so excited to see him in May!

*and if any of you thought "girl" just because I voted that on the ExpectNet poll.... you must have missed my post yesterday where I said "I'll also give you a tip of advice... I did vote on the baby poll, but that vote may or may not be correct. That was my hunch."

So... I still haven't told you the gender, have I?

2007-12-02T11:50:00.000-08:00

I'm waiting for Kim to get her arse back from California and cast her vote. Some of you already know, so keep it hush hush. I'll also give you a tip of advice... I did vote on the baby poll, but that vote may or may not be correct. That was my hunch.

New Pics of Baby Barczak: 14weeks

2007-11-27T17:31:00.001-08:00

I love this next one if his/her hand: You can see all the tiny fingers!

This next one... its a little hard to tell if you're not familiar with sonograms. He/she is looking at you... the head is to the left and the hand is right below the word FACE.
So, that was the little peek in today. Keep on turning in your polls. I am not telling the gender until the Expect Net poll is filled out. You get points for getting the gender correct LOL! ExpectNet tallies up all the points. The penalty points are:

incorrect gender:	400 points
date & time:	5 points per hour
weight:	5 points per ounce
length:	10 points per inch

With Porter's game, I was actually the winner. Isn't that funny? Well, Ryan and I won't be voting this time around because I think it'd be unfair.

ExpectNet Poll

2007-11-27T10:22:00.000-08:00

I created a new game at Expect Net. We may or may not know the gender of the baby... today or within the next few weeks. Hmm... mum is the word. So, go to the poll and enter your thoughts. We'll let you know the results soon!

Baby Barczak #2 Game

Motherhood is the new 40

2007-11-24T20:14:00.001-08:00

I just loved this post over at Playgroups are No Place for Children.... definitely what I've been thinking lately. Thought I'd share. Hope you get a good laugh.

2007-11-19T15:50:00.000-08:00

How do you interpret this....

a) a mom with a three-headed baby
b) a mom with a baby freaking out and flailing about in the stroller
c) a mom with triplets sitting in a line, but the illustrator obviously didn't illustrate this properly

Modesty? What modesty?

2007-11-19T15:40:00.000-08:00

I was kind of chuckling when I read Katelyn's comment about how its so funny that I'm so comfortable talking about poop. Yes, that modesty just goes right out the window when you have kids. See... poop. At least everyone DOES that, right? Every man, woman and child poops (and if you don't, well.... you're either a liar or you have issues).

See, becoming a mom... these types of things tend to strip your modesty down to the bone.

I have:

Had a casual conversation with a nurse. As she inserted and held a catheter in me. Draining my bladder. For what seemed like an eternity (seriously.. it was like 5 minutes!)
Laid spread eagle on a bed with medical staff and family members in full view, as I grunted and groaned and pushed out all sorts of bodily fluids.
Had a doctor shoving his arm up in my uterus to retrieve any 'left behind' pieces of placenta that caused unstoppable bleeding
Had a lactation consultant groping my breasts and nipples, attempting to get Porter to latch on
Had nurses visit my room, ask to check my stitches- yes, THOSE stitches- and monitor "swelling and bleeding."

See... see the REAL glories of labor and delivery? Ahh, its a good thing those little miracles are SO worth it.

12 Week Belly Picture

2007-11-17T11:30:00.001-08:00

What a lumpy belly! HAHAH! You can see my fat pooch bulge out to a point. So cute. pffftt!! I'm definitely not motivated enough to put up a white backdrop and do all sorts of editing to the backdrop like I was last time around. Ahh... poor second child syndrome again.

For comparison, here was my 10 week and 14 week belly pictures from Porter's pregnancy. I totally skipped out on doing a 10 week picture this time, but I'll do another at 14 weeks and try to keep at the same dates to compare. It'll be fun. I guess.

Time flies

2007-11-16T11:17:00.000-08:00

You know what seems so crazy to me? The fact that so many people who are pregnant.... who I began reading their blogs at the beginning of their pregnancies... are already having their 20 week ultrasounds!

Michelle just found out yesterday that she's having a little boy. A little boy to join his two big sisters.

And Giselle (whose blog I just lurk on) had her ultrasound, is having a little boy to join a big brother and sister.

And Kim has her 20 week ultrasound (really at 18 weeks, right?) scheduled for December 12th... just a little over three weeks away!! Which means... we're up soon after that. Isn't that insane??

Its just crazy... I remember reading these blogs when I had JUST gotten pregnant. I felt like time was going so slow. But, here we are already 12 weeks along, over halfway there to the "big ultrasound." Of course, I hope to find out before the doctor's ultrasound- having my mom scan me. I have to keep tabs on this baby, you know... make sure he/she is doing ok in there.

12w 2d

2007-11-16T10:58:00.001-08:00

Wow... its been a week since I've posted! Nothing new has been going on. For the past week I've been feeling SO much better... hardly any nausea at all and I have not been gagging or puking! YAY!

I've definitely got my appetite back and I'm happy about that. Although I'm sure my ass isn't going to be happy about the huge Hot Fudge Brownie and Ice Cream Sundae I ate last night. I'm a pig. What can I say.

This time That time.

2007-11-09T17:55:00.001-08:00

Porter: I broke out badly... face, back, chest
This time: I broke out for about a week, and now all is fine
Porter: Nausea on and off daily, but was manageable. I threw up only in the evening
This time: Horrible nausea... gag reflex was going full blast- couldn't even think or talk about food/gagging without gagging. Puking numerous times a day.
Porter: Not really all that tired even though I was student teaching full time
This time: Exhausted. But, I do have a toddler to look after
Porter: Craved sweets. Couldn't eat spaghetti sauces
This time: Crave salt and pepper on foods (like mac & cheese... has to be doused in salt and pepper). Spaghetti sauces still turn me off most of the time... so maybe thats a pregnancy thing?
Porter: Didn't start gaining weight rapidly until second trimester
This time: Have already gained 10lbs and not even out of the first trimester

11 week appointment

2007-11-09T17:45:00.000-08:00

All is well so far. The midwife found the baby's heartbeat... 175bpm. I have gained 4lbs (ok.. so does that make a total of 10lbs so far? GET OUT!) Looks like I'm going to go for a new record of weight gain. At this point with Porter I had only gained 2lbs. (Hmm... I think I'm going to do a post on how different these pregnancies have been... definitely different).

This poor baby already suffers from the second child syndrome. It kind of makes me sad how "not as exciting" the second pregnancy is. I mean, I am SO excited to meet him/her, but the pregnancy... just seems... like... "here we go again... been there, done that". As I was scheduling my next appointment, the midwife was fumbling through my files and said "Nicole, I can't seem to find your labwork from your last appointment. Did you have that done?"

My jaw dropped. I said "THAT'S what that paperwork was for! I got home and couldn't remember why I had it! Oops!" Now, when I was pregnant with Porter I would have been listening intently to every direction she had given me about getting that bloodwork done. I'd probably have ran right to the lab after my appointment. This baby? I tuned her out, got home and had no clue what the paperwork was for so I tossed it. Anyhow, I headed right to the lab after my appointment and got a ton of blood drawn and gave another urine sample. Why do they need so much of my pee???

Anyhow, thats what's new. I'm going to start scoping in on the baby's heartbeat with my dopplar here at home since we found it at the doctor's office. Maybe I can record it and put it on here. I know you're all dying to hear it HAHA!

More peeks at Baby Barczak

2007-11-06T11:04:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness everything looked a-okay.

Oh and he/she is sooo cute! He/She was pretty still (maybe sleeping?) for the first part, and then Porter whacked my stomach and said "BELLY!" and baby woke up and was moving all around. I have lots of neat pictures to share. It amazes me that he/she looks so much like a baby already but is only 4.59cm long (about 2 inches!).

Side view: his/her legs are stretched out and arm is up in the air.

This pictures is from the angle of looking down on his/her head/shoulders.

This is the feet: I believe they are side by side, similar to the following photograph:

(These are Preston Eash's cute little toesies, by the way!)

This next picture... the round thing is actually his/her stomach (imagine decapitated LOL!). So, kind of like a sliced through view? And those are the two arms and hands sticking up in the air.

The Name Game

2007-11-05T17:00:00.000-08:00

I was surprised that we've made it nearly 11 weeks and Ryan and I have not so much as mentioned baby names. When I was pregnant with Porter, we discussed it all the time. By the time we had our "big" ultrasound, we were pretty set on two names: Porter (no middle name) and Ava Rylee. Ava (while I still love it) is just way too popular, so it won't be making the cut this time.

I thought I'd do a little post with some names *I* like (which, of course, Ryan doesn't really care for any of the girl names I like).

Boys:

Hudson Cole (This was #2 on our list for Porter, so we're pretty sure we love it this time)
Pierce
Declan (Deck-lin)

Girls: The harder list. The "pretty" names are all so popular. I don't want popular.

Brynn (but is Brynn Barczak too many "b" sounds??)
Ruby
Scarlett
Stella
Mira (Meer-a)
Selah Brooke (See-la, and one of my favs)
Charlotte
Ellery
Rowan
Kendall
Molly

Hmm... I guess that's all I can think of for now. Anyone have any other suggestons? Anyone have any they think sound best with Porter Evan?

Update:

2007-11-02T19:34:00.001-07:00

I think everything is a-okay for now, I think. Spotting has stopped. I think it was just because of an overzealous attempt to... ahem...poop. (HAHA.... pick yourself up off the floor now... stop laughing!) Sorry if I freaked anyone out. I freaked myself out.

Kim has demanded I go buy some prunes. EWW.

Anyhow, I might try to get my mom to scan me this weekend. Check up on the little dude/dudette.

Shit please nooooo

2007-11-02T15:02:00.001-07:00

I went to the bathroom... spotting. Bright red. No cramping, yet. I'm hoping this is not what I think it is. I can't do this again.

Please pray. I'll keep this updated. I'm going to call ER in a bit if things get worse.

Shortness of breath

2007-11-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

(ok, for those of you with bloglines... yes... I'm adding these a few days late. Changing the post date. I didn't "journal" this and I wanted to have it journaled so I'm adding it now)

Last night I got on the phone with Denise and was feeling like I couldn't catch my breath. I'm sure she thought I sounded like a dingbat. I felt like I'd run a mile or something. I got off the phone and just walking up the stairs and folding laundry was difficult and tiring. I decided to lay in bed and watch some 'Without A Trace' episodes I had DVR'd. I still, even lying down, felt weak and like my heart was overworked. I seriously thought I was going to die in my sleep, and crap we still don't have a life insurance policy.

Well, this morning I called the doctor to see if it could be the meds making me feel that way. The midwife said since I wasn't a 'big girl' (HAHA!) that I could try just taking half a pill. I guess the meds constrict your blood vessels or something and can make your diaphragm weaker and give you that "arms and legs are heavy, so so weak" feeling. So, I took half a pill today and so far so good.

Meds

2007-10-31T14:37:00.000-07:00

After waking up this morning and feeling immediately like barfing, I decided to call the doc and ask for meds for nausea. I gagged the whole time on the phone. They called in Reglan, which I promptly picked up after work and took. Half an hour later I was raring to eat. Made pancakes. Ate 4 of them. YUM.

A day away from 10 Weeks

2007-10-30T17:40:00.000-07:00

And feeling like major..... crap.

I have had this endless stomach-sick-acidy-nauseaus-pukey feeling all day. It doesn't help that I made a pot roast for dinner so our entire house smells like onions and roast and veggies (BARF) which has made me heave more times than I care to think about. (note to self: do not make pot roast for a looooong time)

We skipped swimming tonight. I'm glad I did as I'd definitely have ralphed in the pool.

I'm now sitting here feeling soo hungry, yet nothing sounds good and all I can smell is- yep- onions and meat and veggies which is making me queasy as I type.

Ugh.

Sorry for the whiny post. Thats about all I have to update. Other than.. I bought a pair of "maternity" pants today. They're the "real waist" pants... no panel or anything, and they have a drawstring. My dress pants are getting really snug. Uncomfortable snug.

Survey:

2007-10-29T12:49:00.001-07:00

Got this from Kim's blog!

Survey about your First Born-

1. Were you married at the time? yes.
2. What were your reactions? Excited, cautious, nervous, thankful.
3. How old were you? 24
4. How did you find out you were pregnant? I had just been feeling "off"... craved KFC like I had to have it or die, felt a little nauseus that weekend when we were camping. I took a test at like 11pm and about freaked out. (its all documented here)
5. Who did you tell first? Ryan. He was sleeping, so I ran in and woke him up. Then I called Jessica at like 11:30 at night.
6. Did you want to find out the sex? Of course! I am impatient.
7. Did you deliver early or late? 9 days early
8. Did you have morning sickness? Yeah. Nausea during the day, and I threw up most evenings until 10 or 11 weeks or so.
9. What did you crave? Oranges, chocolate pudding, KFC (in the beginning), uhm....
10. Who irritated you the most? My husband, definitely. Same with this pregnancy.
11. What was your first child's sex? Boy
12. How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? 41 or 46lbs
13. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? Just my hips... I had some "sacroiliac joint dysfunction"... basically I walked like an old granny for a few months because my hip joint hurt so bad.
14. Where did you give birth? Foote
15. How many hours were you in labor? I think total it was like 14 hours. I started having contractions at 1am at home. I just thought I was cramping or it was braxton hicks. At 8:45am I went in for my appt and I was dilated to 4cm. They broke my water at 10ish, I think I got an epidural at 12:30, started pushing at 3:30, and Porter was born around 5:30. (story here)
16. Who drove you to the hospital? I did. HAHA! I went in for my 38 week appt and I was already 4cm dilated, so they sent me to L&D.
17. Who watched? Ryan, my Aunt Dawn, Cathy (Ry's mom), Dr. Pastoriza and the nurse (well, she like to hang back in her rocking chair... yeah...some nurse!)
18. Was it natural or c-section? Natural with epidural
19. Did you take medicine to ease the pain? I had an epidural
20. How much did your child weigh? 6lbs 12oz
21. Did your child have any complications? No, thank God.
22. What did you name him/her? Porter Evan
23. How old is your first born today? 20 months

OMG

2007-10-25T16:47:00.001-07:00

My little floaty baby... we have ARMS AND LEGS!!! Awwww...

Girl or Boy... gut feelings?

2007-10-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

Of course, with every pregnancy there is the excitement and wonder of guessing/finding out the gender of the baby (whether it is at your 20w u/s or at birth). We will definitely be finding out at one of our kazillion ultrasounds. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

With Porter, we discussed names from the beginning (well, and even BEFORE we were pregnant). Ryan is 100% convinced we'll have 3 boys. He even laughed at me when I tried discussing girl names with him.

While we both agree that we'd love to have 3 kids, I could also see us (err.. me) calling it quits after this baby if it is a girl. Pregnancy is such a blessing and I try to enjoy every second of it, however, I hate that it takes so long to get your body back to normal, only to get pregnant again and (being me) you pig out and lose all inhibitions. However, I don't think we could make the "no turning back" decision until this baby is at least 5 or 6. By then, I would have to know if YES I want to go the baby route again, or NO we're happy with two independent kids and don't want to do the baby thing again. Feelings change SO quickly about getting pregnant/having more kids, I wouldn't want to make any rash decisions too early (look how quickly my thoughts changed on having a second child! Literally overnight!!)

Here is my "Reasons" list:

Reasons I'd love for this baby to be a BOY:

I love being a mom to a little boy. And, since we'll probably have a 3-4 year age gap between Child #2 and Child #3, it'd be great for Porter to be close in age to a brother.
We already have lots and lots of cute boy clothes!
We have a boys' name picked out already, and girls' names... well... lets just say we don't agree.
It'd be easy for the boys to share a bedroom if we needed them to.

Reasons I'd love for this baby to be a GIRL:

A little girl would "round out" our family...we'd have a girl and a boy, and if we decide to have Child #3, I wouldn't feel pressure/anxiety in wanting that final child to be a girl.. kwim?
I would feel content saying "no more kids" after this baby... (see bullet above: we'd have a girl and a boy. Queer, I know. I just think, if we find that financially its only feasible to have 2 kids, I wouldn't feel like "Oh gosh, if only I had the chance to raise a daughter...")
Zillions of cute girl clothes. 'Nuff said.

Before I got pregnant this time around I was really hoping we'd have another boy. A brother for Porter to play trains with (not that he can't do that with a sister...), and if we needed, they could share a room easily (meaning: I could decorate boyishly and they could share a room).

However, for the past few weeks I've totally had "girl" on the brain... thinking of girl names, when I try to envision how we'll set up the nursery once P has a big boy bed, I envision it decorated girly. So, I guess my instincts say girl. Maybe thats stemming from the fact that if this baby is a girl it could possibly be our last... I am so ready to just get my body back to myself and be able to stay in shape and not worry about getting pregnant a year or two or three later. Maybe I'm just secretly hoping for a girl and its giving me girl premonitions.

Honestly, though, I'd be totally happy with either gender. I really just want to be holding a healthy baby next May. While I have these "girl" gut feelings, a boy would not surprise me in the least, and I'd be 100% happy with another little man in the house. Which would mean... we'd 90% definitely be going for baby #3 in a few years and you'd better bet my fingers would be crossed for a little girl.

So... do you have any gut feelings about Baby Barczak #2? I put a poll in the sidebar. What do YOU see us having? (leave it in the comments too!)

We have a heartbeat!

2007-10-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

I went in today for another scan. We were able to see and hear the baby's heartbeat: 180bpm. It was relieving to hear. I have a home dopplar and I think I might attempt to try to find the heartbeat at home. I know some moms on the May Due Date board were able to hear it this early. I can't remember when I could hear it with P. 10 weeks? 12 weeks?

He/she was moving around and it was so cute to watch! Like a little jumping bean. The baby measured 8w6d. I'm sure those measurements change often, but I decided I like that further along date than 8w3d, so I changed my floaty baby.

Its hard to tell that this isn't just a gray blob on the screen. Its not near as cute as Kim's little baby but she does have a few weeks on me. I *think* that the baby is curled up (check out floaty baby over in the sidebar) and facing us (is that right LeeAnn? Mom?). The head is to the left... you can make out the shape of it... its close to half the size of the blob. We were able to see the little arm nubs on the scan when the baby was moving around. I love being able to peek in at the new little one. This pregnancy still seems so surreal. I mean, half the time I forget I'm pregnant, but then I realize "DUH! There is a reason I'm barfing all day and feeling like crap." And then I get to check in him/her and it makes it so much more real.

Where did this exhaustion come from?

2007-10-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

This is getting ridiculous. In the past 2 weeks I have sat on this couch and watched more tv than I have probably all year. I get home from work and even though I have a million things I could be doing, the mere thought of getting up and exerting energy to do those things makes me want to just close my eyes and fall asleep. I do not remember feeling this tired when I was pregnant with Porter. And I was student teaching full time then! I don't really remember feeling this tired even after Porter was born and I was getting up at all hours of the night. What the hell! So, I sit here yet another afternoon.... doing nothing but watching tv and blogging. I really really want to take a nap. Yesterday Ryan got home from work and sent me to bed to take a nap. I slept for about an hour and felt SO much better when I woke up. I should probalby take a little cat nap since its just Porter and I all night (Ry has class).

What else is daily life like lately...

My pants are getting tight. THAT is ridiculous. 7 weeks... thats IT and my ass and thighs and gut are already packing on the pounds. Its so hard to eat healthy when the only things that sound stomach settling is junk food.
My boobs... GAHHH! They're bigger already. Help me! I just started to notice that instead of saggy, deflated boobs they're actually looking..... uh.. "fuller" is that the term? Kind of nice but then.... I really don't want a bigger chest.
I've been pretty good as far as getting sick goes. I feel nauseous on and off all day long typically, but as long as I keep something in my stomach I don't throw up.

6 week doctor's appointment

2007-10-10T14:07:00.000-07:00

Pretty routine, nothing much happened.

She (the midwife) is going with my ultrasound dates, so my due date will be June 1st, 2008. So, as of Sunday I'm 6 weeks along. Holy crap that doesn't seem that productive.

Since my "annual female appt" at the end of July I've gained 6lbs. GAAAHHH! Look who hasn't been eating very well...

So, my starting weight was 124 (I was 130 today). I swear in just the past month I feel like I've gained that whole 6lbs. I feel bloatier (is that a word) and my thighs and butt feels chunkier. GRR. She wasn't too worried... she said "Just look at it this way, if on average you gain a pound a week (for a total of 40), you're right on track with gaining 6lbs for being 6weeks along" HAHAHA! Way to try to make me feel better. Its hard to eat healthy when there is usually only one single item that sound good enough to not bring on a fit of gagging and dry heaving over the toilet. And, let me add that that single item that sounds good is 99% of the time NOT fruit or something healthy. I'm on my way to gaining that 40+lbs again HAHA! Oh well. I view pregnancy as my time to be big and fat. I'll never be one of those cute, tiny pregnant girls, so why even try? The weight can be lost afterward. Lets just hope I have the motivation like I did after I had Porter.

Is this all in my head?

2007-10-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

I swear I've had mild heartburn all weekend. I eat something spicy and I feel acidy in my chest and throat. I haven't had heartburn since I was pregnant with Porter, and I do not remember it being this early.

Other than that... I've just been feeling "icky" on and off all day. When I get too hungry, I feel nauseous. And, of course, not much sounds good... until I think of that "perfect" food. Saturday I ate about 9 pieces of toast with butter, cinnamon and sugar.

Every evening around 10/11pm I am starving for a nighttime snack. Oh, that'll do good for the waist and butt.

Let's try this again...

2007-10-04T17:42:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I'm going to fully experience the FULL 10 months of this pregnancy. For the past 3 weeks I've been thinking I was 5 weeks pregnant. I had another (I know, I know....) ultrasound today and we can see the yolk sac now (YAY!) and I measured 5w4d, with a due date of June 1st. I am assuming I took those pregnancy test THE DAY that my levels were high enough to be detected.

Holy moly. Its going SLOWLY. Hopefully now that I *for sure* know how far along I am it'll go a little quicker. But, dang... I like the 7wk gestation a little better than 5wks... that just means more time feeling worried/scared about the pregnancy ending. UGH. Hopefully in the next couple weeks we'll hear the heartbeat at one of my "self scheduled weekly scans". I called my mom today after lunch:

mom: Hi

me: Hey, what are you up to?

mom: Oh, nothing. Just getting ready to scan a patient.

me: Ok. I was going to stop in.

mom: Oh?

me: Yeah, you know, for my weekly scan.

mom: Oh yeah, ok. I'll be ready in 15.

HAHAH. I love that my mom can do my scans for me. She said the receptionist at her office is also pregnant, as is the receptionists sister. So, they've been having her scan them often. She'll be sick of all of us bugging her to scan us every darn week.

So, whats up with my "not as far along as I assumed pregnant self":

I've been feeling nauseous for the past 5 days or so... threw up a few times last weekend, threw up OJ this morning (OJ has got to be the nastiest, most acidic thing to vomit. EWW)
Exhaustion. I feel like such a slacker mom. I'm SO tired by the time 4:00 rolls around. I could take a nap every day. Tonight, after dinner, I put on Little Bear for Porter and we laid on the floor and I took a 30 minute cat nap while he watched tv. So. Tired.
I feel like a bottomless pit lately... like I can keep eating and eating. But then other times I eat a few bites and thats about all I can keep down.
I really really love mashed potatoes. KFC, if possible. I was the same way in the very beginning of my pregnancy with Porter. Weird.

Other than that... nothing much has changed. Things seem to be going ok so far, and pregnancy thus far is tolerable (minus the migraine).

6w5d or 5w5d?

2007-10-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

I *think* my little calendar buddy is a week off over there. I had a second ultrasound last Thursday and my mom measured me at 5weeks. So, I think I'm a week behind what I *thought* I was. I'm going to bug her for another sonogram this week (haha... you'd better bet I'll be in there like EVERY freaking week HAHA!).

This past weekend, if you read my regular blog, you'll know that I was super sick with a migraine. I started getting really nauseous on Saturday, throwing up a few times. I ended up throwing up 4 or 5 times over the weekend (which was NOT fun with a piercing migraine, let me add), and foods were making me really nauseous. I thought it was just because I had such a bad migraine. One of the worst I've had yet.

Sunday I told Ryan... "I NEED KFC for lunch. Their mashed potatoes. YUUUMMM." That is exactly what I craved when I found out I was pregnant with Porter.

Today I woke up feeling fine. Ate pancakes and syrup with Porter for breakfast and even had a granola bar snack at school (gotta keep Ryan happy). But, by the time I picked Porter up from my grandmas (around 12:30) I was starving and getting a little queasy. We went to Pollys where I picked up a big box of Hungry Jack Mashed Potatoes, corn dogs and some other misc. foods.

I'm sitting here now typing... getting hungry. Getting nauseous. I should go eat and get to bed.

Something seriously is in the water!!

2007-09-26T12:36:00.000-07:00

Let me list all the people I have found out are pregnant recently:

2 of my clients (not maternity clients... just "family session" clients... so hopefully they'll be maternity/newborn clients this spring!)
Katie Huff
Kim Turpin
Kim's friend Mags
D.G (its still a secret)
D.G's friend
Michelle Sauer
LeeAnn's friend Erin

Bloggers:
The Kaisers (The Image is Found)
Giselle
Devan
Bun in the Oven

I think I'm missing a few.

And, I'm sure a few more will be added to the list soon, as I know of at least 4 people (friends) that will be trying to get pregnant in the following few months (wishing them good luck!).

Sheesh, with all these preggos popping up, I sure hope I'm not the only fat, pregnant girl on our Chicago Girls Weekend in March!!

So, preggo bloggers/readers... my question to you... are you hoping for a girl or boy? Have you had any "gut feelings" about what gender the baby will end up being?

Still nothing new.

2007-09-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

Just checking in for all 5 of you readers LOL.

I'm still feeling fine, which has me a little worried. I did look back on Porter's Pregnancy blog (SO glad I kept up on that thing so well!) and morning sickness hit just after 6 weeks. So, maybe I just have a few more days/week to go.

Isn't it ridiculous that I'm so anxious to FEEL pregnant, whether it means I am barfing and nauseous or not? I'm crazy, I know. But, reading back on P's Preggo Blog I totally felt the same way with him... nausea sucked but I have numerous posts where I wrote how thankful I was for that sign that things were more than likely ok. I keep forgetting I am pregnant, and I keep having anxiety that I'm actually not pregnant anymore- that the baby has died or not developed or what not. I wish I could be confident and carefree like some preggos, but I just can't.

I'm hoping that we'll be able to see/hear something when my mom scans me this week. Cross your fingers.

5 week scan

2007-09-21T16:48:00.000-07:00

Lucky me, my mom works as a sonographer, so... basically free ultrasounds whenever she sneaks me in!

She was working at the hospital near the Treehouse today, so I stopped in and she scanned me to see what we could see. Stupid me, I peed right before we left the Treehouse and my bladder was nowhere near full. She was just able to see the gestational sac. I'm going to go to her work in Jackson at the end of next week to have her scan me again.

Telling Aunt Lori and Nina & Papa

2007-09-21T16:43:00.001-07:00

This afternoon I met Lori and the girls at the Chelsea Treehouse to play. I had Porter wear his shirt in and once we arrived we realized Lori and the girls were in the bathroom. So, we headed over there and waited outside the door. She opened the door and Porter started crying (weird kid. He always cries when he sees her). She just laughed, I said hi to the girls and she said hi to Porter. She didn't notice the shirt. Then I said... "Did you see his shirt?" She read it and said "Are you really!?!" I'm so excited to add another little one to our clan of cousins. So so fun.

And... Ry's parents are out of town until Sunday. They left the day we found out we were pregnant, so we haven't had a chance to tell them. We were going to wait and use the shirt (gotta get use out of that $7 shirt HAHA!), but tonight Ry says "Lets just call my parents"

We had Porter rehearse his part. We called Nina and Papa's cell phone and then gave the phone to Porter.

He says "Big Brother!" (errr... "Beeg Budder!!)

They didn't catch it. He says it again. And again. And again. Finally, Ry says "Porter says that if you bring something back, make sure you bring something for big brother and his baby sister or brother"

THEN Dave caught on (it was just his dad on the phone). Then we went through the whole P saying "Big Brother" process again with Cathy. Cute.

So, our close family knows now. Our close friends know. So excited to share this with everyone, and hoping and praying in 9 months we'll be sharing our new little one with everyone.

Boring Update.

2007-09-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

No news is good news, right?

I'm not feeling pregnant today. I wish I would. I know in a few weeks when m/s hits I'll regret saying that, but honestly I always felt a little comfort being sick with Porter. It was uncomfortable and yucky and cruddy being sick in the beginning, but I knew that as long as I was feeling so sick the chances of my baby being ok were good.

I may be getting an ultrasound on Friday. My mom is a sonographer (great job for her to have, eh?) so while I'm at the Treehouse in Chelsea I am going to try to swing into the hospital and have her scan me. I'm nervous that she will find nothing (we're still way early in the preg, so that is a possibility) or that the pregnancy tests were wrong or something. I'm such a nervous Nelly.

The few of you who read this, please keep a friend of mine in your thoughts and prayers. She's in her first trimester and has started spotting (maybe tmi for some of you). She's going in for an ultrasound to see how the baby is doing, but I'm both nervous and terrified for her. Please pray that everything is ok with the baby.

That's all for now.

Article about "Overreacting"

2007-09-18T19:22:00.001-07:00

I'm sure those of you who chat with me (or those who read this blog) will probably at some point or another think "OMG CHILL OUT... you are SO overreacting."

True, true. I'm super paranoid that at any moment this pregnancy will be over. Whats the old saying... Once bitten twice shy? I've experienced loss and it sucks. I'm afraid to get too excited and it all be over as quickly as it started.

Anyhow... back to my title... I found an article on the May 2008 Expecting Board about how society/articles/magazines tend to make EVERY part of pregnancy SO high risk, when in fact it really isn't as risky as we all think. Made me feel a teensy bit better.

Still haven't let my guard down. This baby is still, in essence, a little fleck of cells.

Dang!

2007-09-17T16:40:00.000-07:00

I wish THIS is what I looked like when I was pregnant.

Unfortunately, this is what I have to look forward to. G boobs and baby growing everywhere... butt, thighs, arms, face, belly, boobs.... SOO not cute. Ah, well, its a small price to pay.

Telling "Damma"

2007-09-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

Ideally, we'd be telling both of our parents this weekend, however, Ryan's parents are out of town until next week. So, we're starting out by telling my mom. I tried to think of something creative, but really... how creative can you be with telling the news? Frankly, I don't have the braincells to come up with something thats actually unique (btw... those of you who DO know the scoop... if you have a creative idea, toss me a bone and maybe I'll do something new with Ry's parents). '

Anyhow, I made this shirt for Porter... $3 shirt from WalMart, $3 iron ons... voila!

My mom was stopping by today to drop off a movie (Wild Hogs) for Ry and I to watch tonight. I put the shirt on Porter and waited for her to stop by.

When she walked in, Porter -of course- went to pick up the silo to his barn and proceeded to carry that around in front of his shirt for a few minutes. I just sat there, heart pounding, willing him to put the damn thing down so I could get the excitement over with!

He finally put it down and started playing with the animals with my mom.

For like TEN FREAKING MINUTES! For nearly 10 minutes she named ever darn animal in his silo, and made the noises and laughed with him and even POKED HIS BELLY with the cow! Then she started blowing bubbles with him.

I sat there, biting my cheek... "READ THE SHIRT READ THE SHIRT YOU ARE STARING AT!!" I kept thinking.

Finally, after about 10 minutes, I notice her look at him weird.

"Where'd he get that shirt?" she said to me, confused. "Are you PREGNANT!?" she finally put two and two together HAHA!

She was excited. Now she'll be a "damma" times three!!

Still.

2007-09-15T19:43:00.001-07:00

Still pregnant.

Still crossing my fingers and toes and whatever else.

Still running to the bathroom often, thinking I've started my period.

Still excited.

Still hopeful.

Still wary.

Still in shock.

Still feeling amazingly blessed.

Here we go again!

2007-09-14T10:20:00.001-07:00

So, we're pregnant. I knew something was in the water lately HAHA!

We literally just found out last night. Here's the scoop...

We've been discussing the inevitable "Second Child Idea" for awhile now, but up until last month I was dead set against it. I didn't WANT to be pregnant again so soon (not that 18 months is SOON, but still..), and I was stressed and worried about money, my job(s), our house etc. Finally, on our way down to St. Louis we discussed the whole topic through and through and we decided, What the hell... let's just do it! So, I stopped taking the pill and, well a month later here we are. Writing about being pregnant.

I honestly did not think I had gotten pregnant this past month. The last 2 times I was pregnant (my first pregnancy was a miscarriage, and my second was of course, Porter), we were SO very lucky to get pregnant right away, the first month. I felt incredibly blessed and lucky. I know there are so many couples out there trying to get pregnant and not able to. I tried so hard during my pregnancy with Porter to not act or feel ungrateful. I figured this time around, what are our odds of getting so lucky on the first try AGAIN? For a third time?

Well, God has blessed us is all I can think to say. The last few days I had been feeling a little "off"... kind of crampy but not "those" kind of cramps. I remembered feeling like that with Porter, and Leslie said she had felt that way before finding out she was pregnant with Reyna. So I had already taken two tests (both about a week too early... a week before my period was due... so not enough HCG in my pee anyway) and they were negative so I just told myself "Nope, didn't happen this month. We'll keep trying next month." Well, after I kept feeling a little crampy/pinchy I decided last night, around 9:30pm, to take a test. At first no line, but then after 2 minutes, a faint blue line. This morning P and I went to Target and I picked up a digital test so I didn't have to interpret the line and I could clearly read "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant".

It said... "PREGNANT!"

So, that is the story. We're on our way to being a family of 4. I'm extremely excited, but extremely nervous and cautious at the same time. I don't want to get too attached and lose the baby early like we did the first time. I know in the next few months it is a very unstable time, and I'm hoping and praying that this baby sticks with us.