Becoming a Big Brother

*I forgot to add this post earlier, so I don't forget when I go to scrapbook these photos*

Ryan's parents brought Porter up to the hospital after his nap, around 4:30pm. I wish I'd have thought to take our video camera to the hospital... we are TERRIBLE with using our video camera. Anyhow, Ryan snapped these pictures of Porter meeting Hudson for the first time.

He was so intrigued, I guess that's the word. He loves Baby Landon (who LeeAnn watches on the days she watches Porter as well) and just two weeks before we'd gone up to the hospital to see Katie and Baby Nolan. I kept telling him that Nolan came out of Katies belly and that Baby Hudson was going to be little and tiny like N0lan when he comes out of my tummy. I just kept trying to make him understand that the belly he always talked to would eventually produce a BABY! By Monday, when I asked him who he was going to get to meet tomorrow he said "Baby Hudson come outta your belly like Nolan outta Taties belly"

When he first saw Hudson he just stared. I had him sit on the bed with me and held Hudson for him. He was so sweet. He kept saying "Hi Baby Hudson! You come outta mommy's belly? You come play with me? OOOhhh Hi Baby Hudson!" He was so gentle with him... softly stroking each cheek, then his forehead and then his nose... kind of inspecting all of his tiny little parts.

It didn't last too long as he heard the train outside and "Oooh I dotta get down and see dat train!!" HAHA!

However, since coming home, Porter is SUCH a good big brother. The first day home, I put Hudson in the sling while Porter napped. When Porter woke up, he groggily stumbled around the living room to all the "baby items"... the boppy, the swing, the carseat, the bouncer, and into Hudson's room. The whole time I kept asking "What are you looking for?" but he didn't answer... he just slowly inspected each item. He finally looked up at me and said "I can't find Baby Hudson!" HAHA!

Every morning he comes into my room and says he wants to go see Hudson, and he wants to wake him up. He pushes his stool up next to his crib in the morning and stares at him. When we go somewhere, he tries to help Ryan carry the carseat by holding onto the side. I'm so proud of him for being such a good big brother!

Just for kicks....

Porter:

Hudson:

It's decided....

He shall be dubbed Hudson Riley Barczak.

Strange... I keep thinking of him as "Riley." Which is just odd for me as we've always like Rylee for a girls' name. Anyhow, the birth certificate has been filled out... Hudson Riley he is.

Welcome Hudson (no middle name) Barczak!

Yep, we still do not have a middle name for him. I think right now its between Hudson Oliver and a new one... Hudson Riley. Ryan pulled that one out of thin air about a week ago and while I dismissed it at first as I think of Riley as a girls name, I am starting to think it fits him better than Hudson Oliver. So, no idea where we're going with that.

So... I'm totally insane for having delivered a baby mere 8 hours ago (literally, as I type- 8 hours ago) and I'm raring to go. I can't quit blogging! HAHA!

We got to the hospital around 6:45am and it was just so strange to be so.... normal... and just like "Hey, let's get this labor started." I was a nervous wreck, I could barely talk to Ryan or the nurses even though they all were trying to chat it up with me. I was dreading the whole entire day.

Here's a quick rundown of labor:

• Started me on pitocin at 7am. I was 4cm dilated
  
• Contractions started about an hour later, and they weren't bad at all.
• 9am I was 4cm dilated and 50% effaced at this point
  
• Doctor checked me at 10am and I was 5-6cm and 80% effaced and he said if my water were to break I'd go quickly, so he ordered my epidural and upped my pitocin to 12 (it started at 2, then 4, then 6 and so on ...)
• The contractions were terrible at this point and I thought I was going to die. I was trying to figure out how to turn the pitocin machine down HAHA!
  
• My epidural arrived around 11am, and I survived the 30 minutes of hell waiting, and then after a few milder contractions I was numb and feeling great.
• By now my mom, Ryan and Leslie were there and we were just chatting about furniture and moving and all that fun stuff. Leslie (who wasn't able to have an epidural with Reyna) was dumbfounded... she said "We're just sitting here talking about TABLES and you're in LABOR!"
• Around 12:15/12:30 the doctor came in and broke my water. I was 10cm and ready to go, so he had my epidural turned down so that I'd feel the contractions and the urge to push. I didn't like this.
  
• I only felt bad contractions on one side from this point on. Kind of weird. One side felt a bit numb still, the other felt like my sciatic nerve was shooting down my leg. I had about 30 minutes of kill-me-now contractions and then they got me ready to push.
• Doctor checks, says "get the nursery staff in here, the baby is right there." I was almost in tears thinking about pushing. I dreaded the thought of the pain I had with Porter.
  
• I so did not believe him when he said I'd push once and we'd be saying Happy Birthday. Sure enough, I pushed twice and there he was! I was in disbelief and even said (gasp) "Hey, I could do that again! That was nothing!"

Hudson was face up like Porter was (in which the nurse told me today that its extremely rare to deliver "O.P" ie... face up... and the fact that I "only" pushed for 2 hours delivering an OP baby was great. So, when Dr. P told me Hudson, too, was face up, I was freaked out. Well, he ended up flipping at the last minute. Thank God!

I tore... bad. Up to my urethra (sorry, TMI for some of you I'm sure). OUCH. Leave it to me to tear the wrong freaking way! Anyhow, so far I'm not dying, but its painful to sit.

I was dumbfounded at how great I felt after delivery. It sure makes a difference not having to push for 2 hours! I felt like I could get up and go home!

Ryan and I both kept thinking it was so weird that he was OURS... it seemed like he was someone else's kid we were holding. However, after spending the day with him its feeling more normal. He's so cute (although of course we're biased) and he reminds us a lot of Porter but with a bit smaller nose and chubbier cheeks. He's not wanting to eat much, and I think all day he's had about a total of once ounce, but hopefully he'll be a little more raring to go tomorrow.

As I type now, he's laying next to me sleeping, being a good boy and letting his mommy blog!

Oh... I should post the stats:

Hudson ______ Barczak
7lbs 2oz
20.5 inches long
Born at 1:18pm

Estimated time till induction:

Its 5:22am. I have to be a the hospital between 6:15 and 6:30am.

I'll update as soon as I can.

T Minus 1 Day!

I am in a little disbelief that tomorrow at this time I'll be in the hospital in labor. I'm extremely nervous this time around. With Porter, he was early and I was so uncomfortable that all I could think about was being done being pregnant. I don't remember being nervous or scared about delivery... I embraced the fact that I'd be done being so uncomfortable.

Now its my last day home with just one child. Ryan won't be home until late tonight (class), and Ryan's parents are taking Porter to stay the night so we don't have to worry about getting him anywhere in the morning.

I've been racking my brain thinking of any last minute things I need to do while I'm pregnant. I really want to take a few pictures of Porter talking to Hudson. Its the sweetest thing. He loves to lift up my shirt and talk to him. He says the cutest things like:

"I gotta say hi to baby Hudson"
"Hey baby Hudson.. you wanna come out and play with me?"
"What doin', baby Hudson?"
"C'mon! You come out now? C'mon!" (with hand motions... so cute)
"Love you baby Hudson!"

I am going to try to get video of him and attempt to set up my camera timer and take some pictures. We'll see how that goes...

I'm feeling all emotional about saying goodbye to Porter today as I know it'll be the last time I see him as my only child. Is that strange?

So anyhow... I'm just freaking out a little bit about this last day of pregnancy. Like I've said before, I am not sure how much I'll be leaning towards having a third child after Hudson is here. It makes me sad to think this could possibly be it. We obviously won't make any rash decisions for quite awhile, but I know for sure we won't be adding onto our family until Hudson is about 4 or so. I'm just trying to enjoy his little kicks and movements while I can.

I'm also freaked out about labor and delivery! I'm so so nervous this time around... the "amnesia" seems to be wearing off and I'm remembering the pain and exhaustion of delivery and pushing for 2 hours. I'm hoping Hudson comes out face down like he is supposed to and maybe that'll make it a little easier?

Well, I guess I should get off here and bask in the last afternoon of being huge and round and full of baby. I'll try to update as soon as I can!

I guess not....

Well, we thought tonight might be the night. I started having contractions around 6pm, and they were about every 2-7 minutes. At 6:30 Ryan called his parents to come over to watch Porter, thinking we needed to head to the hospital. I kept saying "No, no... its probably because I didn't eat much today... I haven't had anything to eat in awhile." So, I finished with dinner, and decided to hop in the shower just in case we did have to go to the hospital.

By the time Cathy and Dave got her and I was out of the shower, my contractions were about 10 minutes apart. And then they stopped for awhile, and started back up from 8-10pm being pretty regular, about 10 minutes apart give or take a few minutes. And they were getting a bit stronger, more painful.

I called L&D only because the booklet they give you says if its your second child to come in when contractions are 5-10 min apart. With Porter, I never went to the hospital b/c of contractions... I went in for my appt. and was sent to L&D from there. Anyhow, I let them know what was going on, asked how far apart I should wait to come in etc. They said every 5 minutes and pretty regular.

So, I laid down to get some sleep, figuring if we ended up going in in the middle of the night I'd better at least get some sleep. Cathy and Dave had taken Porter home with them just in case, so we didn't have to worry about him tonight.

I just woke up and its 1:45ish. I haven't noticed or had any contractions in awhile. Go figure. I probably should have gotten off my butt and walked around more, as they seemed to be more regular when I was up and moving. I'm just too lazy LOL!

I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings...

Contractions

I've been having contractions since yesterday afternoon... nothing regular. The closest they were was about 15 min apart last night. Ick, they're painful though! I'm not looking forward to the pain of giving birth.... I hope I'll be able to get an epidural pretty quickly on Tuesday!

Anyhow, maybe this weekend will be D-Day, who knows. I'll keep you updated.

"38" Week Appointment

I went in for my appointment today and she said "Ok lets see... 37weeks 5 days" I cringed and made a face. UGH!

So she says she'd talked to the doctor and he said next week would be fine for an induction if I'm open to that. Of course!

Then she asked how I went into labor with Porter, so I told her I went in for my 38 week appointment, was 4cm dilated and I was sent to L&D to have my water broke.

She said I might follow the same pattern and since I was just about 38 weeks she asked if I wanted to be checked. Heck yeah I do!

I was so afraid I wouldn't be dilated at all.

Well, turns out I am 3cm dilated and she scheduled me to be induced Tuesday, May 20th! So... just 4 more days of being pregnant!! I can't wait to meet this little guy!!

Almost 39 Week picture

Or... maybe almost 38 Week picture... according to the measurements of the freaking gestational sac at 5 weeks. Why did I open my big mouth? They'd probably induce me on Friday if my due date was "officially" May 23rd in their records. I'm so so done this week. Up to last week I was feeling ok. I was thinking "Ehh, I should feel happy that my hips don't hurt as bad as they did a month and a half ago, my sciatic nerve only acts up every once in awhile lately, my back doesn't hurt, my neck doesn't hurt, my bra is halfway comfortable this time and Hudson isn't ripping my ribs apart like Porter was at this point."

Well... I spoke too soon. As once Monday hit I ended up with an upper backache that has been on the verge of giving me a migraine. And my legs feel like they're being ripped off at the joints. My inner thigh joints hurt SOOO bad. Especially when I am sleeping and I try to roll over. It nearly brings me to tears. I'm ready to be done... ready to have this little guy here so we can get things back to somewhat normal and focus on all this freaking house stuff. Ugh.

I have two more days of work (I decided, after we found out we're going to have to pay at our house closing) to work an additional week because at that point I was feeling pretty darn good. Now I feel like crap and I wish I'd taken the week off.

Anyhow... the point of this post. A picture. Because I haven't taken a side view belly picture since 24 weeks. Slacker!!

Less than 2 weeks!

Oooh I am getting so excited to have Hudson here. I can't wait to see him and see what and who he looks like and see how Porter reacts to him. Katie had her baby on Wednesday (baby Nolan!) and Porter and I went to see them.... he was so sweet with him. I hope he's the same way with Hudson.

Porter and I went to Target the other day and picked up two packs of slow flow nipples to get us by, as well as a can of formula and... hmm... I guess that's all! I still feel like I'm so unprepared for this baby... but I guess its not like we're a zillion miles away from a store if we need to get something.

I forgot to mention... I got a steal on a swing! I found this swing on Craigslist for $20... its in great condition although the mobile has a few malfunctions (lights don't work and the mobile doesn't turn). The swing works great and the music works, so we're good. We had borrowed this same swing from my sister and those same 2 things didn't work on hers, so it must be something with that swing that malfunctions. Oh well... for $20 I'm not complaining!

Still no real headway on the middle name. I think I'm pretty set on one, but we really haven't even discussed names recently. We've tossed a few back and forth in passing, but just haven't sat down and hashed it all out. Maybe that will be a plan for tonight.

I ordered the footprint photo frame and baby book tonight. I decided to just get the same baby book that Porter has (yeah... I know... boring...), that way I didn't end up loving or hating one more than the other. Its not like I don't document on my blog or in my scrapbooks, so really, baby books aren't something I need to be particular about. And, I do like Porter's baby book.

I also need to somewhat pack a bag for the hospital. Any suggestions on what to take? With Porter we took EVERYTHING but the kitchen sink... and used none of it. They provide diapers and even formula, so that's take care of. I'm thinking thus far I really just need my camera(s), an outfit for Hudson and I to go home in, some toys for Porter for when he's visiting us, uhm.... anything else? I'll probably take my laptop as they have wifi in the rooms. Who knows if I'll be up to blogging, but you never know....

I'm so very much not prepared for this baby...

Nevermind the fact that we'll be moving somewhere (who knows where!) shortly after Hudson's arrival... but I feel like I have arrived at the end of this pregnancy and I've planned for nothing. Here are the things I keep thinking I need to get around... but I never seem to be able to cross anything off my list!

• Buy a baby book. I rarely update Porter's (although most stuff is journaled on my blog)... but I still feel like Hudson should have a baby book too. Any suggestions on good ones?
  
• Buy a footprint photo frame... NEED this asap... Porter has one with his newborn footprint impressed in the clay and I want one for Hudson. The only ones I can find are like $30... and I feel like I should be able to find them cheaper SOMEWHERE.
  
• Find our baby bottles. Wash them.
• Buy nipples for the above mentioned baby bottles.
  
• Buy a can of formula.
• Pack a hospital bag... or at least get a list ready of things I need to take (ie... camera, battery, etc etc...)
• Find a middle name for this poor child....
  

37....err 36 week appointment?

I had my "37 week" appointment today. Turns out they have my due date as June 1st. That blows! Why do they have it as June 1st, you ask? Because I had an early early ultrasound at 5 weeks done by my mom and that one single ultrasound dated me at being due June 1st. I opened my big mouth and that's what they're going by. Every other ultrasound, as well as my LMP has me due on May 23 (give or take a day). The sonographer at the ob's office even said that an ultrasound at 5 weeks isn't fully accurate because the baby is literally a little nothing blob and its often hard to measure accurately.

HOWEVER... Tracy (the nurse midwife) did say that since Porter was almost 2 weeks early and my body naturally dilated and went into labor early that more than likely I'll have this little guy early as well. And, better yet... she said that if I'm pregnant on the 23rd and I want to be induced on that day, that it sounds like a great day to have a baby to her. She said she has no problem inducing me since this is my second baby and because my body went into labor naturally with my first pregnancy. So... due date or not... I'll be making sure I'm induced on the 23rd. I'm still hoping for a little earlier though.

She did say his head was down and showed me where to pinch/push on my low low abdomen and feel his head. I was afraid he was sideways or something because lately he's been kicking out each side of my stomach. She said he's probably kicking with his feet out once side and pushing his butt out the other. That's fine with me... better than with Porter- he used to kick right into my ribs. That was terrible.

Great news... I have not gained anything. I actually lost 1lb from my last appointment. I know the doctor tried to tell me that most women gain a lot at the end... but just as with Porter's pregnancy I've stayed steady and/or lost a pound or so at each appointment.

That's about it for that appointment. I go back in one week.

Bad dreams and contractions

For the past day or so, I thought Hudson was moving and stretching out weird. Usually if I'm laying down and I roll to my other side (which takes ohh... 5 minutes to do), my stomach gets super tight and its really painful. I thought it was just Hudson changing position, but after it happening a few times last night I thought... hmm... I really didn't FEEL Hudson move... and it usually isn't painful all around my stomach when he moves. I'm thinking its a contraction? You'd think that since I've actually HAD a baby before I'd have some sort of clue HAHA!

Anyhow...

Last night was a sleepless night. I was exhausted, so I crawled into bed around 10:20 and watched an episode of "Deliver Me". I finally crashed around 11.

At midnight, Porter came in my room and was all worked up about his Nemo cup.... he wanted some water. Crazy kid. I tried letting him sleep with me but he tosses and turns like a freaking fish out of water so I finally sent him back to his room.

An hour and a half later I was up again, having a horrible dream that someone broke into our house shooting a gun. I woke up and rolled over and had the minute long painful "movement" or "contraction" or whatever the hell it is.

I was up about 3 or 4 other times throughout the night to pee, and most of the time when I'd roll over to change position, I'd get that painful tightening. I hope this means that my body is getting itself ready for delivery in the next couple weeks. I'm freaked out that Hudson is going to be my "late baby." Porter was 10 days early, so I'm desperately banking on the idea that Hudson will be early as well.

But... then last night I was kind of freaking out thinking about him arriving in the next couple weeks. I'm not quite sure I'm ready to have 2 kids! There are lots of things around the house I probably should get done before Mr. Hudson shakes up our somewhat "regular routine". Like... scrapbooking... and fixing up my landscaping where the dogs ran through it last summer... and making a few blankets and bibs and burp cloth sets for the ladies I work with who are due (well, one had her baby the other day... 5 weeks early!)... and finding a new vehicle to trade the Fe in on... and Ryan getting the decks stained....and finalizing a few client orders.... Ok... so I can still do all that once Hudson is here, but it'd be so much easier to have things in place before he comes. Which technically means I need to get moving in order to have them done in the next 2-4 weeks.

Alright... thats enough of my rambling. I just thought I'd journal this to look back on :)

Countdown: 31 Days!

I cant' believe we're a month (or hopefully less) away from meeting Hudson! I feel like this pregnancy has been somewhat surreal.... almost like I haven't fully realized we're going to have another sweet little boy in our family.

Hudson has been doing a great job making himself known to me in the past couple weeks. He's quite a mover! Tonight he was just rolling and kicking and moving all around. My stomach looked like an alien was trying to emerge. I should video tape it.

He's also been dancing around on my sciatic nerve... which had me in tears today. I thought my SI joint pain in my hip was bad.... oooh this sciatic nerve crap sucks. Its not constant (although today my hip has felt sore, but not "electric shock" sore all the time), when that nerve gets irritated (which is a couple times an hour) it nearly brings me to my knees in tears. I have to really bite my lip to try not to scream out in pain. Its embarrassing when it happens in public... or at work when I'm walking down the hall with my students. One of my 3rd graders today saw me nearly fall and said "Oh that happens to me too when I wear high heels" Oh... I wish it were just me tripping on my shoes LOL!

I came home today in a yucky mood... I went to the chiropractor and had an adjustment that really didn't help much. I got home and took Porter out to play and ended up sitting outside crying because I'm just so sick of feeling uncomfortable and in pain. Porter's so darn sweet... he came up to me and stood next to me on the step, put his arm on my back and said "What wrong, mommy? What wrong?" I told him my hip hurt and he said "Oh" and went back to playing LOL! Funny boy.

I'm trying to stop wishing away these next few weeks as at this point I'm uncertain if I have it in me to ever want to have more biological children. I honestly just don't love being pregnant and it seems to bring out the worst in me. I know we'd both love another child in our family in the future, but I am leaning more towards wanting to adopt rather than go through pregnancy again. I found myself browsing adoption websites tonight of a family who has adopted 4 times from China. I always seem to be drawn to Chinese adoptions for some reason, so who knows... maybe that's a sign that our future holds something unknown to us. I'll just need to get Ryan on board... Anyhow, I am trying to enjoy these last weeks of being pregnant just in case I/we decide not to do this again. I am so anxious/excited to get this pregnancy over with... to have Hudson here and to move forward with our "new" family of 4 that I often have to stop myself and make myself appreciate what a miracle it is to be pregnant, and how bittersweet it would be if this is my last pregnancy to experience. I don't want to wish it away and then regret not really, truly cherishing it later.

Last night I worked on Hudson's birth announcements. I think I have it finalized, and I just hope that I have the ambition to attempt to take "good" pictures of him after he's born. I used my clients pictures as "samples" in the birth announcement and I love them. I hope I capture those type of images of Hudson.

Speaking of his birth announcement... he still does not have a middle name. I used "Hudson Cole" as a sample on the announcement and sent it to Ry to approve and he said he didn't care for Cole. So, that may be off the list?! We honestly just haven't even brought up middle names lately! I guess we have a few we like, so we can always decide after he's born, I suppose.

As far as work goes... I think I've decided that I'm going to take off starting May 8th, which will be 2 weeks before my due date. I am honestly hoping that Hudson makes his arrival sometime around that date, but who knows... he'll probably be my late baby. Let's hope not! I still need to give my principal the heads up, but I don't think it'll be a problem. It kind of gives me a few "shorter" goals to look forward to... a little over 2 weeks until I'm done working and from then, less than 2 weeks until Hudson is due.

Wow. What a rambling post. I just hopped on here to gripe about my painful day.. and here I go rambling off on a tangent!

Babycenter Says...

"Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same."

Well, not this kid. I swear, the past two days he's been flipping around back and forth. I was starting to get worried that he was upside down and with my luck I'll end up needing a c-section. I'm sitting here typing and it feels like he's kick boxing and doing somersaults in there. Babycenter, I don't believe you.

35 Week Appointment

Very very uneventful. Especially seeing I didn't gain ANYTHING this past 2 week period! She actually said it looked like I lost a tiny bit (but... that could be clothing or shoes... ). It was Tracy, the nurse midwife I love. She's always sympathetic and she just said "Ehh... the weight isn't a problem" probably because she just in the past year had a baby so she knows how it is.

I really don't have much to update. We pretty much talked about my HAIR the whole appointment. The hair on my head, that is. She asked how I styled it and who cuts it and went on and on about how she really loves my hair. Made my freaking day.

Hudson was laying sideways or something so she had a hard time measuring me. I didn't hear the stats on what I measured or what his heartbeat was because I was in la la land that she likes my hair HAHA! (ok, also because we were still talking HAIR while she did those measurements).

Anyhow... I go back in 2 weeks and then its every week from that point on. In the homestretch....

Swelling

Ahhh... that third trimester swelling. I've been trying to ignore my fingers which are beginning to swell like sausages. If I don't think about it, its not too bad. And during the day its usually ok. But when its hot and humid, or its at the end of the day, or in the morning when I wake up... my wedding ring is tight and uncomfortable and a pain in the rear to take off. I've contemplated buying an inexpensive, fake ring for the time being to wear instead of my wedding band. I'm not about to walk around this town looking like an unwed pregnant lady with a toddler in tow. You'd understand if you lived in my town.

So... those of you who had the finger swelling when you were pregnant... what did you do about your ring? Did you wear it on a different finger? Did you wear a different, larger ring in place of your wedding band? Did you suck it up and let your finger turn blue?

Preparing a toddler for a new sibling

Does anyone have any advice for preparing Porter for his new brother? Any neat things we should do for/with him to get him used to the idea? Any tips/tricks to making the transition from a 3 person family to a 4 person family after we bring Hudson home?

We talk to Porter all the time about his baby brother, how he'll come out of my tummy and he can help feed him etc. I ask him what he'll do if Hudson cries and he says "Want a sucky? Want a sucky?" HAHA!

He knows where Hudson's room is, knows we've bought him some clothes and that he has some toys in there. We've looked through Porter's old scrapbooks when he was a baby and told him that Baby Hudson is going to look like that when he comes out of mommy's tummy and that he'll come home with us and be a tiny baby just like Porter was.

I just am not so sure he understands, really. I mean, he's a smart kid, but I really don't think he can put the concept together that my huge stomach is going to produce a BABY and that he's going to come home and live with us. I'm afraid Porter is going to have a huge adjustment and I'm nervous that he'll react negatively to everything.

I'd like to make the transition as smooth as possible... what else can I do to help prepare Porter? What can we do when we're all home from the hospital to make things easier on Porter? I know we will definitely need to make sure we still try to spend one on one time with P-man as often as we can once we're home, but... anything else?

How far along am I now?

I have to keep checking my little ticker in the sidebar to remember how far I am. All I know is I have 5 weeks and a few days left. Hallelujah! I am so excited to meet Hudson and to have our family together and to get myself back to somewhat normal as soon as humanly possible.

At work today I made a little list of things I needed to blog about.

• I found stretch marks the other day. On my stomach on the sides of my belly button and on my sides... like someone was grabbing my waist and drug their nails about 3 inches as I ran away from them LOL! I think these were the spots I had stretch marks with Porter, too.
  
  
• My sciatic nerve has been KILLING ME. I only had a few instances when I was pregnant with Porter, but for the past 2 weeks I've been having lots of issues with my sciatic nerve getting messed with. I get a shocking jolt of nerve pain in my butt and down my leg and a couple times my leg has given out and I've nearly fallen. So annoying.
  
  
• Hudson has had the hiccups a lot lately. He's hiccuping as I type. It seems like every night around 9pm I start feeling his little hiccups.
  
  
• Work is sucking really bad right now. I feel like I barely put anything into it. I am normally creative and really excited to come up with new projects and writing activities for my students, but lately I really could care less. How horrible! I feel I'm giving a half assed effort to my job. I hope things change once I return in the fall.
  
  I've been contemplating leaving work the first week in May. When I was pregnant with Porter I was finished student teaching at 34 weeks and I just stayed home until Porter was born (at a few days past 38 weeks). I'm now almost 35 weeks and just feeling like... ehhh... bleh. I dread going to work... I have nothing to wear that is comfortable, I'm unmotivated to get anything done, I am tired all the time, I'm super uncomfortable- I hate getting up and walking around and walking down to get my students and just... I hate working right now (not that I hate my job... its just that every little "easy" task just doesn't seem easy anymore!). But I almost feel like a total slacker if I took off work early. I don't get a maternity leave, so it'd be unpaid. The longer I work, the more paychecks I get. I know lots of people work up until they deliver, so I keep thinking... am I a slacker for wanting to take off the last 3 weeks? I really think it'd be nice to spend that time with Porter one on one, but then I wonder if it'll just make the time go by slower. Any suggestions?

I guess that's it for now. I have more to write, but I'm uncomfortable sitting in this chair any longer.

Hudson's Room

I decided to take some pictures while our house looks orderly... here are a few of Hudson's room. I'm not finished with his letters. I'm not even positive I really like them that much. I might go more "simple" rather than the "animal print" in funky colors. What do you think?

(ps... photo quality sucks. Grainy. Taken with point and shoot camera)

Hudson's 3D

We weren't able to get many decent shots of Hudson today (well, we got one single "ok" image) but that's ok. He was smooshed up against something in there and it just wasn't working out. Here is the one decent image my mom got of him... I included a little diagram so you can see what is what. He has a cute little pointy chin just like Porter, and his nose looks pretty similar as well.

Just call me Heifer VonSwaggen

Oh lord... OH LORD... where do I start?

I had my 32 week appointment this morning. First, though, Porter and I had to go to the Diagnostic Center to do my glucose test. Yep, 32 weeks and JUST getting around to doing that. Luckily I only had to drink a small coffee sized cup full (which was kind of yummy... orange... like orange slice!) and then head up to my appointment.

P did really well in the waiting room and during my appointment (although when I had to pee in a cup he was all over the bathroom and wanting to drink from the little pee cups (empty, of course) and write on it with the marker...

I handed over my pee and went to step on the scale.

Hold your breath, ladies and gentlemen.

I somehow managed to gain 6lbs in the past 2.5 weeks. What the freaking hell!?! Let's just say I really wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I could feel the look from Clara the nurse... she attempted to kindly say "Well, I'll round it down to 166 (it was 166.6) but it is still SIX pounds...." and let her voice trail off like that. I am sure she was thinking "Why don't you try keeping your mouth SHUT once in awhile instead of stuffing it with junk?"

Anyhow, the rest went off without a hitch.... Hudson's heartbeat was in the 150's and everything else went a-ok. The nurse/midwife (Laura, who I had never seen before) asked if I planned to breastfeed and this was the first time I've admitted (other than on the blog) that no, I wasn't going to attempt to. I oddly (or, maybe not so oddly) felt the need to include an explanation as to why I wasn't going to attempt to BF, and she seemed very non-judgmental about it and empathized with the large breast issue. I just worry about the nurses at the hospital and I don't want to feel like a loser mom for not even trying. But honestly, carrying around 34DDDD boobs on a 5'3" normally 125/130lb frame is not easy.

Porter and I also stopped in to see my mom and get an ultrasound of Hudson. He was SO SO cute! He kept opening his mouth and yawning and sticking out his tongue. I love it. And, tomorrow we're going to my mom's other work to get a 3D ultrasound done... so I'm crossing my fingers that Hudson is in a good position and ready for his close up!

{Profile}

{Profile}

{Profile with mouth open... you can see the black "line" of his throat}
{Facing him... you can't see his eyes- they're in that dark space to the top/right- but you can see his nose as if you were looking up it, and his lips}
{Fingers- he seemed to have long fingers and fat hands!}

Hudson with no middle name

Hudson still does not have a middle name. We really haven't even discussed it lately. I figure with a tad over 7 weeks to go (and crossing my fingers its more like 5 weeks....) I guess we should at least start hashing out some middle name ideas.

Here are the names we're considering so far:

Hudson Cole

Hudson Oliver

Hudson Avery

Hudson Isaiah

Hudson Elijah

Does anyone else have any suggestions? You can vote "Other" and add your suggestions there if you want.

T Minus 7.5 Weeks

These past few weeks have been uncomfortable and painful. I'm so so so ready to just have Hudson here and have our little family of four all together. I'm ready to get back to somewhat normal... to have my body back to myself.

I just got back from a trip to Chicago with some girlfriends and while the trip was a great time, I really couldn't enjoy it as much as I wanted as I was hobbling around with painful hips and I was tired and uncomfortable and stretched feeling. I've gotten to that point where my lungs just don't feel like they hold as much air. I feel like there's pressure on my lungs and bladder all the time. My hips have been out of whack for a few weeks now, and just in the past week sciatic nerve pain has been added to my SI joint pain. If I pivot my legs/hips I feel either a stabbing pain in my upper hip/lower back or a sharp tingling nerve pain down my leg. Neither are fun.

I have an appointment tomorrow and I'm going in before to do my glucose test. I still haven't had that done! I figure, though, that I haven't felt weird after eating or anything like that so I'm sure everything should be ok.

I've decided I won't be attempting to breastfeed with Hudson. I was really gung ho on BF'ing with Porter and it ended up not working out (because of my migraines... P wouldn't latch, pumping was increasing severity of my migraines and I was just not well...) and I had really thought I'd try again this time. However, as selfish as this sounds... I have GOT to get rid of these G sized boobs. Its affecting my self esteem and I know it'll only be worse after having Hudson. I just need to get back to semi-normal ASAP. I feel a bit like a failure and a selfish person, but I just can't imagine these boobs once my milk comes in. Right now they're as large as they were when my milk came in with Porter. So... can you imagine? Sick.

I've been browsing a few online places for one piece outfits for Hudson for this summer. I'm not quite sure how to dress a newborn in the summer! I am not a big fan of "just onesies" as clothes (same with wearing sleepers 24/7) and in the summer there just are not that many clothing options for newborns- other than onesies. While I have plenty of onesies to last him until the end of summer, I'd like to have some one-piece outfits that he can wear as well (when I mentioned this to Leslie and Maria yesterday at the outlet mall, both of their mouths dropped open... I am also not a big fan of one piece outfits at all either...). So... I found a few cute outfits at Gap that I like. I am going to keep an eye out for them to go on sale. If anyone happens to notice them on sale, shoot me an email. :)

30 Week Appointment

I had a doctor's appointment on Thursday... quickest one I've ever had! Dr. P was on his way up to L&D so he was kind of in a rush. Luckily, everything this pregnancy has been a-ok so far so I didn't have much to meet with him about.

Here's the quick low-down:

-I managed to ONLY gain 3lbs last month! WOO HOO!
-Hudson's heartbeat was 150bpm... although he was quite the squirmer and kicker and Dr. P had a hard time keeping him in one spot to measure his hb. He ended up having to push on one side of my stomach to "trap" him in one spot and "hold" him still.
-I measured 29weeks
-I start going every 2 weeks now! Oh my gosh.. that's so weird. Just 10 more weeks to go! Although, honestly, I'm hoping for only 8 more weeks.... I dread that last month. UGH.

That's about it... kind of a boring update! But, I guess that's better than something being wrong :)

Ritalin, anyone?

Mr. Hudson is quite the active child. He is all over the last few days... kicking and turning and poking every part of my insides. I can barely sit down without having to pee- even if I just went pee minutes before. And I swear it feels like he's kicking at my crotch. OUCH. Sometimes when he moves it feels like he's trying to scrape his way out, and his stretches are getting very uncomfortable. I remember at the end of my pregnancy with Porter (end being... 36weeks +) being super uncomfortable and having Porter stretch out and it being unbearably painful. If Hudson is already causing uncomfortableness and scratching at only 29 weeks... I'm scared for the end of this pregnancy!!

I went to Target today and bought two new shirts and some accessories to wear with them. I want to have something somewhat cute for Chicago-- I'm going to be the only preggo there who is hobbling around with bozo boobs and a round midsection, so I figured I'd better have at least 2 semi-cute outfits on hand to wear to boost my self esteem somewhat. Not that maternity clothes are all that cute, especially when your boobs take up as much room in the shirts as your belly does. I'm not sure what SHOES to wear in Chicago... I can't wear low shoes with any of my jeans- they're all too long and I don't care to have them hemmed as I mainly wear wedge heels all the time. But... I'm not sure wearing wedge heels all day walking in Chicago will be all that comfortable especially being 32 weeks pregnant!

More Etsy Love...

These BIBS! Such cute bibs!

Turtle in pebbles

Sweet Pea Bundle

Reversible Guitar Bib

Goliath Monster Belly

Diaper Bags that no one else has...

A bit ago I posted about some baby items that I was wanting/needing. One of those was a diaper bag- one that would be somewhat practical for 2 kids. Although Porter doesn't require much, I still toss a diaper, baggie of wipes and snacks in my purse (err... big honking tote bag). So, those items will join all the menagerie of junk that you haul around with an infant.

I recently found a blog that Zoe has- why the heck were you hiding this, girl? Anyhow, I saw a bag posted on her blog and I just loved it. Its from Etsy. Why the hell did I never think to look on Etsy for a hip, unique diaper bag? Why buy one from Target or Wendy Bellissimo or Coach or Pottery Barn when you can have something that no one else has? HAHA! Well... I've found quite a few bags that might work for diaper bags, and quite a few more that I'd love just to have as a bag. If there's one thing I love to buy its bags... how many bags can a person have?

So... some of my favorites... what do you think?

9 Pocket Asian Print corduroy messenger by GlamBaby

Lite Brite Shoulder Bag by BlackBags

Makido Shoulder Bag by BlackBags

SoHo Diaper bag by SassySatchel (available in other patterns..)

Lollipop Messenger Bag by Computerfashions

28 Weeks

Not much exciting going on here. So far this pregnancy has been pretty uneventful, thankfully.

Hudson has been moving around like a madman. He's very active and kids and twists and turns all the time.

I'm getting so excited to meet him. I, oddly, keep getting so excited to go into labor (obviously, not anytime soon, though) and to experience all that again. Not that I look forward to the pain and all the horror that goes along with labor/delivery, but just to have those first two days with a new person in our life and everything is so... new... and exciting (ok, and exhausting and painful and stressful and emotional...). But then I get so sad thinking about the end of this pregnancy. I know how fast time has gone by with Porter and how you blink and they change. I know it'll go by even faster with Hudson as we'll have two little boys to keep up with. I just want to soak it all up as much as I can and remember every little thing about them.

I need to do my 28 week belly pictures today and post them. I'm not feeling awfully huge, but my boobs... ugh... Porter put my bra on his head and let's just say one cup fit his head like a hat. I'm carrying an 'almost' newborn in my belly and two 2-year old heads on my chest. Isn't that lovely?

Today I want to organize Hudson's room a little more. Right now its looking like a storage/catch all room. I'd like to have it look a little less like that and a little more like a nursery waiting for a special little guy to arrive. We'll see how far I get on that task today.

Videos

Just a few videos I found on YouTube (no, neither of these are my belly). I got addicted tonight LOL! Thought I'd share.

Here is me... pregnant....

The name is....

As of now, his name is Hudson. Hudson with no middle name.

I absolutely can not get Ryan to budge on Sullivan, although I adore the name. The only name we agree on is Hudson, so Hudson it is.

I just can't seem to feel like its "the name", do you know what I mean? I kind of felt that way with Porter's name, so I'm hoping that if we try it out on the little dude in utero, that maybe it'll just start to feel like his name, just like Porter's did. If we stumble across something we (err I) love even more (and can convince Ryan to go along with), we'll go with that. But, for now, he is Hudson.

I bought letters for his nursery, but I'm holding off on painting them. That's how unsure I am. Its just such a weird feeling. I still keep calling him "the baby" or "baby brother." Note to self: Must try to use name when referring to him.

I should tell you... in order for me to agree on Hudson, I told Ryan this was my stipulation:
1) *IF* we have Child #3 and *IF Child #3 ends up being Boy Child #3, then I get 100% first-name naming rights.

Isn't that mean of me?

Anyhow, maybe I just need to find a great middle name for him. So far, the names we like are:

Hudson Oliver (Oliver meaning "peace")
Hudson Avery (Avery meaning "nobility")
Hudson Isaiah (Isaiah meaning "God is salvation")

Porter's middle name "Evan" means "God is gracious". I really want a middle name with some sort of good meaning. Any ideas?

Name

Ok, before I tell the name..... here are two letters from the first name. Can you guess?

More room decorating

Did I mention that I covered a lampshade in the Zoo fabric?

Paintings

I finally decided on what to paint for the baby's room. For Porter's nursery, I painted an airplane painting. For P's big boy room I added a helicopter painting (I'll post pics on the regular blog later).

I wasn't sure what to paint for Baby's room (who, by the way, has a name now... I'll announce in a new post). I found a few pictures online that I liked, and I was able to copy/recreate them on my own. So, I won't and can't take full credit for the idea/vision. I'm sure its a tad bit... unethical, but its not like I printed out the pic online and framed it. I guess I consider it no different than another photographer recreating an image/pose that I took. Not exactly "creative" but why reinvent the wheel, right?

Anyhow, I wanted specific sizes and on canvas so I didn't have to frame them. I combined images from a seller on Etsy (Constant Dreamer) and an artist whose paintings I found on Art.com (Erica Vess).

Here they are..

25week doctor's appointment

Well, this was by far the most depressing doctors appointment I've had thus far. Ok, I shouldn't be THAT dramatic... because everything with Baby is a-ok.

However...

I stepped on the scale.

And even the nurse gasped and said "Oh! 10 lbs this month!"

Yikes.

When Dr. P walked in I had a sheepish grin, I'm sure, as he asked "What's that look for?" I told him I had gained a lot this month and he looked at the chart and said "Oh... well, as long as its not every month, but try to cut back a bit on the sweets and junk food."

My whole appointment we basically talked about my eating habits... errr lack of. I admitted I have a horrible sweet tooth and that I eat horribly. I told him he wouldn't believe how much ice cream I have eaten in the past month... I've eaten a mint milkshake at least 3-4 times a week. Some weeks, every night.

He says "That's what'll kill you... you can't be doing that!" Oh man. I tried to justify it that this acid reflux/throat burning was the culprit... milkshakes are the ONLY thing that makes it better. Kind of. Its just yummier than Tums or Pepcid LOL!

We did revisit my charts from Porter, as he tried to tell me I'd typically gain weight at the end. I told him with Porter I lost weight at the end, that or gained only a pound or two a month. He didn't believe me but when he looked at my charts he said "Yep, well, looks like you're following that same pattern... you had a few months in the middle that you gained a lot, but it tapered off at the end."

As of now, I'm about 5lbs ahead of what I was at this point in my pregnancy with Porter. I gained a total of 40lbs with him, topping out at 170ish. Today, I weighed in at 156. So, I need to chill it out or else I'll be blowing the charts away!

I went grocery shopping and I'm going to really try to eat better and not eat so many sweets. That's my problem... I indulge so much in sweets and I don't think a second thought about it. My philosophy is that pregnancy is my time to be big and fat. I'll never be one of those cute, petite pregnant girls, as my boobs make me look like a freaking football player. My entire torso, belly to neck, is like one big, rolly, lumpy mass. So, why not be happy and eat whatever. The weight can be lost afterwards.

Tomorrow for lunch I'm taking a tuna fish sandwich (good lord... is tuna in or out for pregnancies this year? I can't remember if its safe now or not.... the guidelines change every freaking day), carrots and peanut butter, Dannon light and fit yogurt and probably a granola bar. However... it is our Valentine's Day party at school so I'm sure I'll get my share of sweets HAHA!

25w 4d

Just a random little update.

--Last night Porter and I took a trip to Westland (about an hour away) to pick up this:
Tracy, I believe, commented on my last post about finding a Sit n Stand at Burlington Coat Factory, so I checked out their website. Why did I travel an hour for technically the same stroller that I could have bought at my local Target? Well, it is tan. And my infant carseat is tan/black. And I'm anal and I want them to somewhat match. BCP is the only place I found that carries the "Vanilla Bean" color of this stroller. Everywhere else seems to have gray and red and silver. Not so hot with my tan/black carseat.

Porter seemed excited about the stroller. He wanted me to push him all around the store in the display model. We'll see how long his fascination lasts.

--This baby boy has been kicking and flipping and making all sorts of moves. He's an active one, that's for sure.

--I've been sleeping so lightly lately. I'm sooo not excited about that. I remember at the end end end of my pregnancy with Porter that I couldn't sleep, but I don't remember much about turning into a light sleeper at 25 weeks. Anyhow, it seems like every little noise wakes me up, and I often just wake up for the hell of it. I hate not getting a full nights sleep! And then Ryan gets up for work at 4:30am-ish, his alarm clock goes off and he gets OUT of bed, grabs his little battery operated alarm clock and climbs back IN bed (with the alarm clock in hand) and hits snooze and sleeps with the alarm clock until it goes off again. So, regardless of if I want to or not, I'm woken up around 4:30am every day, and then again when the snooze goes off. Grrr......

--I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow... I'll update then if there's anything exciting.

Researching Baby Gear.... need opinions please

Luckily, with having another baby boy, we don't have too much stuff to have to purchase. The child has more clothes than he can possibly ever need.....

(these are just newborn and 0-3 month stuff!)

I feel like we've done nothing to prepare for this baby... its like we have nothing to do but sit and wait for him. I obviously have been trying to keep busy and occupied with getting his room together. And I've also been making lists of other baby gear that we will need now that we'll be dealing with two kids, rather than just one baby.

Here are some things I'm looking at buying, most are things we didn't have/use/need with Porter. If any of you moms have opinions/thoughts on them, please let me know!

Sit n Stand Stroller. Porter will only be 2yrs 3mos old when Baby Boy is born... he is definitely not ready to walk around the stores or go on walks with me without having a stroller. And, seeing I'll be home with the boys all summer- I will definitely not be sitting around home going stir crazy. I can't stand being cooped up in the house. Originally I was thinking of getting the One Step Ahead brand, but I just saw yesterday at Target that they have an all charcoal gray one for $119. Furthermore, OSA has a convertible double stroller that converts to the Sit n Stand. I thought about that one at first, but I think I'll forego that and just get the basic Sit n Stand. Porter listens well enough that I think he'll be ok on the bench seat. Does anyone have the Baby Trend one from Target? How do you like it? Pros/Cons? What about the One Step Ahead one? How do you like it? Pros/Cons?

Hotslings Wrap/Sling: I have a sling that my aunt bought me when I had Porter and it was useful for while around the house. However, I found it to be very bulky on the shoulders (its really padded) and I want to try something a little more "sleek" (if carrying a baby can be sleek HAHA!). Target now has one pattern of Hotslings at the store and it folds up SO small. I could put it in the diaper bag easily, and take up no more room than a diaper or two. I am not sure if using a wrap will be more or less useful with having a 2 year old to chase around, but I'm thinking there might be situations that it'd be helpful. There are a million different wraps out there, and I'm not sure which ones are the best. Anyone have any opinions? I've heard of the Maya Wraps, Kangaroo Korner, Peanut Shell, etc etc. I guess my #1 feature I want is lightweight, not bulky, and small enough to throw in a diaper bag. I would love input/advice on selecting a wrap if any of you have used them or tried any of these brands.

Speaking of diaper bags... I'm in the market for a new diaper bag. Right now I just throw a couple diapers and a baggy of wipes in my over sized (aka... enormous) purse... bag... luggage tote. I like big purses. With Porter I used a corduroy messenger bag from Target, which I still use when he goes to the sitters. However, I think with 2 kids I might need/want something a little more structured to keep things organized. I want something cool and stylish, but practical. Is that too much to ask for? I've heard good things about the Pottery Barn Ultimate Diaper Bag, but I'm hesitant to spend $60 on a diaper bag! Any opinions on that? I've also browsed Target (luuuv Target!) and found a few that I like there as well... just not sure about ordering online and paying shipping if I hate the bag, kwim?

I think we also might get the Bumbo Play Tray. We loved our Bumbo (and Porter still loves it!), and the tray wasn't out on the market when P was little. I think it might come in handy. Does anyone have this and use it?

Bathtime: With Porter, we had a baby tub and I hated using it. I gave it to Leslie I think. It was easier and more convenient for us to bathe him in the kitchen sink. I bought one of those spongy bathtub pads and just leaned that up against the back of the sink and put him in there. We have since thrown the spongy thing away since it was, well, a sponge. I was thinking about trying one of these. Has anyone used one a bath sling? Did it work well until the baby could sit up alone in the tub/sink? We need/want something that can fold up skinny, or be thrown in a small closet. We have a tiny house, and space is limited!

Bouncer: I've been thinking of maybe maybe buying a new bouncer. Just so that I have something new for this baby to use. The bouncer we used with Porter was a hand me down from someone... and its pretty no frills. Not sure if it even has vibrate or music. I am clueless when it comes to selecting one of these. One of my clients actually had a really cool one that jiggled and wiggled with the slightest of movement, seemed very soothing and almost gliding like. I haven't found it online at all, so I might have to email her to find out where they got it. Anyhow, here is the one I was looking at. I also like the Papasan one as well, but not sure about the size and how long the baby would enjoy sitting in it.

So... those are the only things I've been able to think of that might be useful for a second child. Do any of you moms of 2+ kids have any baby items that you found to be lifesavers when going from a singlet to a duo? Please share!

Other than that, we'll just be stocking up on diapers, diapers diapers. Fun stuff.

Baby's room is coming along...

Today I tackled some sewing projects for the baby's room. Project #1: a pillow, inspired by these pillows (that are way too expensive for me!!)

And the bedskirt... which I have no clue how it turned out looking so decent. I am sure there's a much easier way to measure fabric so its "square" and to sew the pieces together. I have no clue what I'm doing, honestly.

The mobile for above the baby's bed. I just clipped it to the curtain rod for the time being.

The friends from World Market, taking up residence on the new bookshelf.

24 Weeks.... review

Ok, I guess I should start journaling a little better with this pregnancy.

Starting Monday I began having these terrible inner thigh/leg joint pains. I thought it was from walking a lot on Monday (working a full day, and going back and forth between my room and the 3rd grade rooms). Anyhow, the pain felt like I had done a kazillion side leg lifts. If I stepped or pivoted to the side, my inner thighs/joints screamed out in pain. I waddled all week. I endured comment after comment from coworkers that I needed to hit up the boss for a scooter or something. If I got up after sitting for awhile, it took my legs/joints (because it really wasn't my leg muscles... it felt like my joints... like they were stiff and tight) to warm up.

I've asked so many people if they felt like this, and I've gotten lots of weird looks. Apparently I'm weird. I seriously feel like my hips/upper legs bow in or something... like they're turning inward. Weird, huh?

The other night my mom was working at the hospital while I was scrapbooking in Chelsea so I stopped in for a peek at Baby Barczak. The first image we saw of him was a wide open view of his... boy parts! They were clear as day, spread eagle. Crazy kid. He was also so cute practicing swallowing and sticking his tongue out. I can't wait to meet him!

24 Weeks

And... a progression so far....
Oh man... 12 weeks looks soo.... skinny. And I thought I was pudgy then. HA!