It's a....

BOY!

Porter is going to have a little brother. A partner in crime. A buddy to build train tracks with and drive matchbox cars all around the house.

I'll be totally, 100% honest with you. At first I was a bit... bummed. Before I got pregnant I really wanted to have another boy. I figured we'd have 3 kids, and I've always pictured us with 2 boys and a youngest daughter. But, once I was pregnant I realized what a wench I am when I'm pregnant and that I had kind of hoped that we'd have a girl so I could say our family was done, complete, and I didn't have to go through another pregnancy. And, furthermore, I'll admit I did mourn for a few days... I mourned for the daughter that never was, the daughter I wasn't destined to have at this time.

(I've always wondered why boys seem to be the "not as wanted" gender. But... I think its because that opinion is coming from us women (if you ask men... they all want boys). Boys are awesome, but every woman wants a little girl, a daughter, that she can relate to... to relive her childhood of playing dolls and barbies and dressing up as a princess with. Its not that I think girls are better than boys, its that I just want to experience that mother-daughter bond/relationship.)

I'm getting over that, getting used to the fact that I won't be shopping in any of the 53 racks of girl clothes at Target but the minimal 5 racks of boy stuff. Getting used to the fact that I'll be the mom in the bleachers cheering on her sons in their basketball games, and refereeing sleepovers with goofy, wild boys playing pranks on each other and giving each other ball shots. Getting used to the fact that I'll be the queen bee in this house for the next few years. And, who knows what is in store for our family. Maybe my boys will get to have a little sister to look over and protect sometime in the future. I think in a year or two we may consider adoption as I'm not sure I want to go through pregnancy again.

I'm also getting so excited to see this little guy. I'm thrilled that, so far, he looks healthy and happy and as cute as a little 2D baby on an ultrasound can look. I keep wondering if he'll look like Porter, or if he'll have Ryan's dark eyes rather than my and Porter's hazel eyes. Will he have dark dark hair like Ryan, or medium brown like Porter and I? Will he have my nose or Ryan's? Will he be a good baby, as Porter was, or will he be my hellion child? Will he be a talker like Porter or quiet and reserved? All those things just have me so excited to see him in May!

*and if any of you thought "girl" just because I voted that on the ExpectNet poll.... you must have missed my post yesterday where I said "I'll also give you a tip of advice... I did vote on the baby poll, but that vote may or may not be correct. That was my hunch."

So... I still haven't told you the gender, have I?

I'm waiting for Kim to get her arse back from California and cast her vote. Some of you already know, so keep it hush hush. I'll also give you a tip of advice... I did vote on the baby poll, but that vote may or may not be correct. That was my hunch.

Survey:

Got this from Kim's blog!

Survey about your First Born-

1. Were you married at the time? yes.
2. What were your reactions? Excited, cautious, nervous, thankful.
3. How old were you? 24
4. How did you find out you were pregnant? I had just been feeling "off"... craved KFC like I had to have it or die, felt a little nauseus that weekend when we were camping. I took a test at like 11pm and about freaked out. (its all documented here)
5. Who did you tell first? Ryan. He was sleeping, so I ran in and woke him up. Then I called Jessica at like 11:30 at night.
6. Did you want to find out the sex? Of course! I am impatient.
7. Did you deliver early or late? 9 days early
8. Did you have morning sickness? Yeah. Nausea during the day, and I threw up most evenings until 10 or 11 weeks or so.
9. What did you crave? Oranges, chocolate pudding, KFC (in the beginning), uhm....
10. Who irritated you the most? My husband, definitely. Same with this pregnancy.
11. What was your first child's sex? Boy
12. How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? 41 or 46lbs
13. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? Just my hips... I had some "sacroiliac joint dysfunction"... basically I walked like an old granny for a few months because my hip joint hurt so bad.
14. Where did you give birth? Foote
15. How many hours were you in labor? I think total it was like 14 hours. I started having contractions at 1am at home. I just thought I was cramping or it was braxton hicks. At 8:45am I went in for my appt and I was dilated to 4cm. They broke my water at 10ish, I think I got an epidural at 12:30, started pushing at 3:30, and Porter was born around 5:30. (story here)
16. Who drove you to the hospital? I did. HAHA! I went in for my 38 week appt and I was already 4cm dilated, so they sent me to L&D.
17. Who watched? Ryan, my Aunt Dawn, Cathy (Ry's mom), Dr. Pastoriza and the nurse (well, she like to hang back in her rocking chair... yeah...some nurse!)
18. Was it natural or c-section? Natural with epidural
19. Did you take medicine to ease the pain? I had an epidural
20. How much did your child weigh? 6lbs 12oz
21. Did your child have any complications? No, thank God.
22. What did you name him/her? Porter Evan
23. How old is your first born today? 20 months

Girl or Boy... gut feelings?

Of course, with every pregnancy there is the excitement and wonder of guessing/finding out the gender of the baby (whether it is at your 20w u/s or at birth). We will definitely be finding out at one of our kazillion ultrasounds. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

With Porter, we discussed names from the beginning (well, and even BEFORE we were pregnant). Ryan is 100% convinced we'll have 3 boys. He even laughed at me when I tried discussing girl names with him.

While we both agree that we'd love to have 3 kids, I could also see us (err.. me) calling it quits after this baby if it is a girl. Pregnancy is such a blessing and I try to enjoy every second of it, however, I hate that it takes so long to get your body back to normal, only to get pregnant again and (being me) you pig out and lose all inhibitions. However, I don't think we could make the "no turning back" decision until this baby is at least 5 or 6. By then, I would have to know if YES I want to go the baby route again, or NO we're happy with two independent kids and don't want to do the baby thing again. Feelings change SO quickly about getting pregnant/having more kids, I wouldn't want to make any rash decisions too early (look how quickly my thoughts changed on having a second child! Literally overnight!!)

Here is my "Reasons" list:

Reasons I'd love for this baby to be a BOY:

• I love being a mom to a little boy. And, since we'll probably have a 3-4 year age gap between Child #2 and Child #3, it'd be great for Porter to be close in age to a brother.
• We already have lots and lots of cute boy clothes!
• We have a boys' name picked out already, and girls' names... well... lets just say we don't agree.
• It'd be easy for the boys to share a bedroom if we needed them to.
  

Reasons I'd love for this baby to be a GIRL:

• A little girl would "round out" our family...we'd have a girl and a boy, and if we decide to have Child #3, I wouldn't feel pressure/anxiety in wanting that final child to be a girl.. kwim?
• I would feel content saying "no more kids" after this baby... (see bullet above: we'd have a girl and a boy. Queer, I know. I just think, if we find that financially its only feasible to have 2 kids, I wouldn't feel like "Oh gosh, if only I had the chance to raise a daughter...")
  
• Zillions of cute girl clothes. 'Nuff said.
  

Before I got pregnant this time around I was really hoping we'd have another boy. A brother for Porter to play trains with (not that he can't do that with a sister...), and if we needed, they could share a room easily (meaning: I could decorate boyishly and they could share a room).

However, for the past few weeks I've totally had "girl" on the brain... thinking of girl names, when I try to envision how we'll set up the nursery once P has a big boy bed, I envision it decorated girly. So, I guess my instincts say girl. Maybe thats stemming from the fact that if this baby is a girl it could possibly be our last... I am so ready to just get my body back to myself and be able to stay in shape and not worry about getting pregnant a year or two or three later. Maybe I'm just secretly hoping for a girl and its giving me girl premonitions.

Honestly, though, I'd be totally happy with either gender. I really just want to be holding a healthy baby next May. While I have these "girl" gut feelings, a boy would not surprise me in the least, and I'd be 100% happy with another little man in the house. Which would mean... we'd 90% definitely be going for baby #3 in a few years and you'd better bet my fingers would be crossed for a little girl.

So... do you have any gut feelings about Baby Barczak #2? I put a poll in the sidebar. What do YOU see us having? (leave it in the comments too!)