17 Weeks

And: pregnant with Porter at 17 Weeks:

Its for sure...

It's a boy!

Ryan met me at my mom's work today so he could finally get to see his newest little boy. I had wanted to take my point and shoot camera to record and post a little video on here, but of course I forgot. (Our ultrasound in January we can take in a DVD to record it) He was measuring around 17w5days, so almost a week ahead of what he had measured before, and I believe that is almost 2 weeks ahead of what the doctors have me at. (Their due date is June 1, but the ultrasound keeps saying May 23). I guess when I go in in January they can decide what they want to do. I guess it really doesn't matter because the baby will come whenever he is ready, right?

Anyhow, we got a buttload of pictures. Baby Boy was all snuggled in cozy looking. We got to see a lot of his face, eyes, hands and cute little feet. He was moving his arms all around, stretching them over his head and playing with his face. I can't wait to meet him!


Sooo... this confirmation has given me "permission" to go forth with my nursery plans. I ordered 4 yards of the 2D Zoo fabric today and I plan to make his blanket (which should used 1.5-2 yards) and possibly a changing pad cover and maybe wrap some canvases with it. Who knows. I just figured if I was paying for shipping I might as well make sure I have enough for whatever I may want to make.

I'm going to check the local fabric stores for that super soft chenille "minky" fabric that all the baby blankets seem to be made out of (you know, the ones that are flat or sometimes with the raised dots?). I want to get a chocolate brown for the opposite side of his blanket. The only minky fabric I can find online is $13/yard. EEK!

I've decided to skip the bumper. I'm making the bedskirt though. I like the little extra decorative touch and its nice to hid the two bins of toys we store under the crib. As for additional stuff in the room... not sure yet.

I also bought Porter two quilts today. I'll post about them on my regular blog, though.

To Bumper or Not to Bumper?

That is the big question.

I'm settled on the nursery bedding. I'm going with Alexander Henry's 2D Zoo in pool. I am going to have to buy the fabric and either make or have it made. I love this set (as posted earlier), and I have even found someone to make the bedding for me. I'm going to make the quilt/blanket.... it looks easy enough. But the bumper and dust ruffle, I don't know. I know for sure I want the dust ruffle, but should I have it made? It'd be around $25 to have it made, plus the cost of fabric (which is running $10-12/yard).

I chatted with my mother in law and I am thinking I'm going to skip the bumper and attempt to make the dust ruffle. We made Porter's, although it didn't have the pleat or the trim, so hopefully I'll be able to figure it out.

The bumper.. I love it. I really do. But, I also loved Porter's $80 bumper from Pottery Barn Kids and we ended up taking it off and tossing it in the closet after numerous annoying sheet changes from pukey/leaky diaper baby. As much as I'd like to say "I *WILL* use the bumper this time, I know in reality that after I have to change the sheets twice in the middle of the night being exhausted and sleep deprived, it too will end up in the closet.

I'm going to have my mom scan me again tomorrow, just to get the "for sure" its a boy (Ryan will finally get to see an ultrasound... he's going to take a late lunch and meet me there) and once we have confirmation I think I'm going to get the fabric and start working on things in January.

If we're still in this house (which I'm hoping not, but there's a good chance we will be), we're going to move Porter into the play room and redo that for him in February for his birthday. The baby will move into Porter's room, and I'll keep the green/blue parts of the wall and paint the mocha brown a more chocolate brown to match the bedding. I'm going to paint the square canvases- I found blank ones at JoAnn's. I think I'll do the background a light blue instead of green since the top part of the room is green already.

So, questions for my three readers:

1) Did you buy a bumper for your child's crib? Did you love it or hate it?

2) Do you have any ideas on how to bring more of the zoo fabric into the room?

15w 5d

Well, I had wanted to post yesterday, but our internet was on the fritz. For the past week I've kept thinking I had felt the baby flutter a little, but I kept brushing it off as my imagination. Well, yesterday he was moving all about and there was no doubt that I was feeling little baby flutters. I just love this part of pregnancy... I'm going to try to enjoy the next 2 or 3 months and then the end-all hell will set in and I'll be miserable LOL!

Ryan and I are still discussing names. I think we're kind of getting settled on a name, although I told him I still don't want to commit yet.

I had a doctor's appointment today. Pretty uneventful. Heartbeat was 150bpm. I gained another 5lbs. Fun stuff. The doctor said I was measuring on time (I think they have me at 14 weeks, but the sonograms measure the baby to be close to 16 weeks by this point). I told Dr. P that my mom had scanned me a few times and we knew the gender of the baby, and he said "Oh well, its still early" as if I'm insane or something and hadn't seen the obvious penis inbetween the little guys legs. Oh well. Our "official" ultrasound is January 11th. Man, I'd have died waiting that long to find out! LOL!

Doesn't that look like an obvious boy to you?

The Name Game: Boy Version

Well, our next step is to name this little guy. I absolutely hate referring to him as "the baby"... it seems so... impersonal. We had decided on Porter's name around 20 weeks. I remember Porter being the only name that seemed to "fit", even though I tried for weeks to try to find another name, unable to settle on Porter. However, I'm so glad now that I did as I love his name and it fits him so well.

I have a few names for this little guy that I really like, and a slim few that are right at the tip top of the list. And possibly "the one" but, as I was last time, I'm not ready to commit just yet.

Ryan is stubborn, as always. He's unable to come up with any creative names that I haven't heard 50 million times (he was so proud of himself when he said he found the "perfect" name... Caden... Uh... yeah, right along with 500 thousand other Cadens, Aidens, Bradens, Jadens and Haydens. HAHA!). So, when I suggest a name he usually vetoes it right away, and then after I bug him with it 10 more times or so he starts to warm up on it. So, right now there are two, and only two, names that he will even consider. Everything else he shoots down right away.

So, let's pretend Ryan doesn't have a say in this. Really, he does, but for fun, let's just look at my list, ok? Now, not all of these names I *love* but they all have a bit of potential, and of course there are some I love much more than others.

I did have Graham on the list, but I think Graham Barczak reminds me of "Grandma Barczak" and a little bit of somehting like a graham bar... whatever that is... graham cracker mixed with granola bar??

I also really liked Tobin, but Tobin Barczak sounds too... "B-ish". Ryan, of course, thought the same.

So, here's my little poll. I'm sure I'll post again soon with an updated list and lots of these scratched off. Which name both a) goes well with Porter and b) sounds good with the last name Barczak.

Bedding

Surprisingly, I've had quite an easy time finding bedding that I absolutely love. The only problem... it is $618 from Posh Tots. Yeah right!

I found the zoo print fabric online, and the other fabrics I'm pretty sure I can get something similar from JoAnn's. I'm going to make this sucker! That, or maybe hire it out to have someone else do it? How would I go about finding someone to make it?



I also want to get this Jellycat Truffles blue elephant for him. In the picture it looks like a stuffed animal, but it actually is like a big, fat, round, squishy pillow when its laid out flat. And its sooooo soft.
(here's an example of how it looks all laid out)

It's a....

BOY!

Porter is going to have a little brother. A partner in crime. A buddy to build train tracks with and drive matchbox cars all around the house.

I'll be totally, 100% honest with you. At first I was a bit... bummed. Before I got pregnant I really wanted to have another boy. I figured we'd have 3 kids, and I've always pictured us with 2 boys and a youngest daughter. But, once I was pregnant I realized what a wench I am when I'm pregnant and that I had kind of hoped that we'd have a girl so I could say our family was done, complete, and I didn't have to go through another pregnancy. And, furthermore, I'll admit I did mourn for a few days... I mourned for the daughter that never was, the daughter I wasn't destined to have at this time.

(I've always wondered why boys seem to be the "not as wanted" gender. But... I think its because that opinion is coming from us women (if you ask men... they all want boys). Boys are awesome, but every woman wants a little girl, a daughter, that she can relate to... to relive her childhood of playing dolls and barbies and dressing up as a princess with. Its not that I think girls are better than boys, its that I just want to experience that mother-daughter bond/relationship.)

I'm getting over that, getting used to the fact that I won't be shopping in any of the 53 racks of girl clothes at Target but the minimal 5 racks of boy stuff. Getting used to the fact that I'll be the mom in the bleachers cheering on her sons in their basketball games, and refereeing sleepovers with goofy, wild boys playing pranks on each other and giving each other ball shots. Getting used to the fact that I'll be the queen bee in this house for the next few years. And, who knows what is in store for our family. Maybe my boys will get to have a little sister to look over and protect sometime in the future. I think in a year or two we may consider adoption as I'm not sure I want to go through pregnancy again.

I'm also getting so excited to see this little guy. I'm thrilled that, so far, he looks healthy and happy and as cute as a little 2D baby on an ultrasound can look. I keep wondering if he'll look like Porter, or if he'll have Ryan's dark eyes rather than my and Porter's hazel eyes. Will he have dark dark hair like Ryan, or medium brown like Porter and I? Will he have my nose or Ryan's? Will he be a good baby, as Porter was, or will he be my hellion child? Will he be a talker like Porter or quiet and reserved? All those things just have me so excited to see him in May!

*and if any of you thought "girl" just because I voted that on the ExpectNet poll.... you must have missed my post yesterday where I said "I'll also give you a tip of advice... I did vote on the baby poll, but that vote may or may not be correct. That was my hunch."

So... I still haven't told you the gender, have I?

I'm waiting for Kim to get her arse back from California and cast her vote. Some of you already know, so keep it hush hush. I'll also give you a tip of advice... I did vote on the baby poll, but that vote may or may not be correct. That was my hunch.

New Pics of Baby Barczak: 14weeks

I love this next one if his/her hand: You can see all the tiny fingers!

This next one... its a little hard to tell if you're not familiar with sonograms. He/she is looking at you... the head is to the left and the hand is right below the word FACE.
So, that was the little peek in today. Keep on turning in your polls. I am not telling the gender until the Expect Net poll is filled out. You get points for getting the gender correct LOL! ExpectNet tallies up all the points. The penalty points are:

incorrect gender:	400 points
date & time:	5 points per hour
weight:	5 points per ounce
length:	10 points per inch

With Porter's game, I was actually the winner. Isn't that funny? Well, Ryan and I won't be voting this time around because I think it'd be unfair.

ExpectNet Poll

I created a new game at Expect Net. We may or may not know the gender of the baby... today or within the next few weeks. Hmm... mum is the word. So, go to the poll and enter your thoughts. We'll let you know the results soon!

Baby Barczak #2 Game

Motherhood is the new 40

I just loved this post over at Playgroups are No Place for Children.... definitely what I've been thinking lately. Thought I'd share. Hope you get a good laugh.

How do you interpret this....


a) a mom with a three-headed baby
b) a mom with a baby freaking out and flailing about in the stroller
c) a mom with triplets sitting in a line, but the illustrator obviously didn't illustrate this properly

Modesty? What modesty?

I was kind of chuckling when I read Katelyn's comment about how its so funny that I'm so comfortable talking about poop. Yes, that modesty just goes right out the window when you have kids. See... poop. At least everyone DOES that, right? Every man, woman and child poops (and if you don't, well.... you're either a liar or you have issues).

See, becoming a mom... these types of things tend to strip your modesty down to the bone.

I have:

• Had a casual conversation with a nurse. As she inserted and held a catheter in me. Draining my bladder. For what seemed like an eternity (seriously.. it was like 5 minutes!)
• Laid spread eagle on a bed with medical staff and family members in full view, as I grunted and groaned and pushed out all sorts of bodily fluids.
  
• Had a doctor shoving his arm up in my uterus to retrieve any 'left behind' pieces of placenta that caused unstoppable bleeding
• Had a lactation consultant groping my breasts and nipples, attempting to get Porter to latch on
• Had nurses visit my room, ask to check my stitches- yes, THOSE stitches- and monitor "swelling and bleeding."
  

See... see the REAL glories of labor and delivery? Ahh, its a good thing those little miracles are SO worth it.

12 Week Belly Picture

What a lumpy belly! HAHAH! You can see my fat pooch bulge out to a point. So cute. pffftt!! I'm definitely not motivated enough to put up a white backdrop and do all sorts of editing to the backdrop like I was last time around. Ahh... poor second child syndrome again.

For comparison, here was my 10 week and 14 week belly pictures from Porter's pregnancy. I totally skipped out on doing a 10 week picture this time, but I'll do another at 14 weeks and try to keep at the same dates to compare. It'll be fun. I guess.

Time flies

You know what seems so crazy to me? The fact that so many people who are pregnant.... who I began reading their blogs at the beginning of their pregnancies... are already having their 20 week ultrasounds!

Michelle just found out yesterday that she's having a little boy. A little boy to join his two big sisters.

And Giselle (whose blog I just lurk on) had her ultrasound, is having a little boy to join a big brother and sister.

And Kim has her 20 week ultrasound (really at 18 weeks, right?) scheduled for December 12th... just a little over three weeks away!! Which means... we're up soon after that. Isn't that insane??

Its just crazy... I remember reading these blogs when I had JUST gotten pregnant. I felt like time was going so slow. But, here we are already 12 weeks along, over halfway there to the "big ultrasound." Of course, I hope to find out before the doctor's ultrasound- having my mom scan me. I have to keep tabs on this baby, you know... make sure he/she is doing ok in there.

12w 2d

Wow... its been a week since I've posted! Nothing new has been going on. For the past week I've been feeling SO much better... hardly any nausea at all and I have not been gagging or puking! YAY!

I've definitely got my appetite back and I'm happy about that. Although I'm sure my ass isn't going to be happy about the huge Hot Fudge Brownie and Ice Cream Sundae I ate last night. I'm a pig. What can I say.

This time That time.

• Porter: I broke out badly... face, back, chest
  This time: I broke out for about a week, and now all is fine
  
  
• Porter: Nausea on and off daily, but was manageable. I threw up only in the evening
  This time: Horrible nausea... gag reflex was going full blast- couldn't even think or talk about food/gagging without gagging. Puking numerous times a day.
  
  
• Porter: Not really all that tired even though I was student teaching full time
  This time: Exhausted. But, I do have a toddler to look after
  
  
• Porter: Craved sweets. Couldn't eat spaghetti sauces
  This time: Crave salt and pepper on foods (like mac & cheese... has to be doused in salt and pepper). Spaghetti sauces still turn me off most of the time... so maybe thats a pregnancy thing?
  
  
• Porter: Didn't start gaining weight rapidly until second trimester
  This time: Have already gained 10lbs and not even out of the first trimester

11 week appointment

All is well so far. The midwife found the baby's heartbeat... 175bpm. I have gained 4lbs (ok.. so does that make a total of 10lbs so far? GET OUT!) Looks like I'm going to go for a new record of weight gain. At this point with Porter I had only gained 2lbs. (Hmm... I think I'm going to do a post on how different these pregnancies have been... definitely different).

This poor baby already suffers from the second child syndrome. It kind of makes me sad how "not as exciting" the second pregnancy is. I mean, I am SO excited to meet him/her, but the pregnancy... just seems... like... "here we go again... been there, done that". As I was scheduling my next appointment, the midwife was fumbling through my files and said "Nicole, I can't seem to find your labwork from your last appointment. Did you have that done?"

My jaw dropped. I said "THAT'S what that paperwork was for! I got home and couldn't remember why I had it! Oops!" Now, when I was pregnant with Porter I would have been listening intently to every direction she had given me about getting that bloodwork done. I'd probably have ran right to the lab after my appointment. This baby? I tuned her out, got home and had no clue what the paperwork was for so I tossed it. Anyhow, I headed right to the lab after my appointment and got a ton of blood drawn and gave another urine sample. Why do they need so much of my pee???

Anyhow, thats what's new. I'm going to start scoping in on the baby's heartbeat with my dopplar here at home since we found it at the doctor's office. Maybe I can record it and put it on here. I know you're all dying to hear it HAHA!

More peeks at Baby Barczak

Thank goodness everything looked a-okay.

Oh and he/she is sooo cute! He/She was pretty still (maybe sleeping?) for the first part, and then Porter whacked my stomach and said "BELLY!" and baby woke up and was moving all around. I have lots of neat pictures to share. It amazes me that he/she looks so much like a baby already but is only 4.59cm long (about 2 inches!).

Side view: his/her legs are stretched out and arm is up in the air.

This pictures is from the angle of looking down on his/her head/shoulders.

This is the feet: I believe they are side by side, similar to the following photograph:

(These are Preston Eash's cute little toesies, by the way!)

This next picture... the round thing is actually his/her stomach (imagine decapitated LOL!). So, kind of like a sliced through view? And those are the two arms and hands sticking up in the air.

The Name Game

I was surprised that we've made it nearly 11 weeks and Ryan and I have not so much as mentioned baby names. When I was pregnant with Porter, we discussed it all the time. By the time we had our "big" ultrasound, we were pretty set on two names: Porter (no middle name) and Ava Rylee. Ava (while I still love it) is just way too popular, so it won't be making the cut this time.

I thought I'd do a little post with some names *I* like (which, of course, Ryan doesn't really care for any of the girl names I like).

Boys:

• Hudson Cole (This was #2 on our list for Porter, so we're pretty sure we love it this time)
• Pierce
• Declan (Deck-lin)

Girls: The harder list. The "pretty" names are all so popular. I don't want popular.

• Brynn (but is Brynn Barczak too many "b" sounds??)
  
• Ruby
• Scarlett
• Stella
• Mira (Meer-a)
• Selah Brooke (See-la, and one of my favs)
• Charlotte
• Ellery
• Rowan
• Kendall
  
• Molly

Hmm... I guess that's all I can think of for now. Anyone have any other suggestons? Anyone have any they think sound best with Porter Evan?

Update:

I think everything is a-okay for now, I think. Spotting has stopped. I think it was just because of an overzealous attempt to... ahem...poop. (HAHA.... pick yourself up off the floor now... stop laughing!) Sorry if I freaked anyone out. I freaked myself out.

Kim has demanded I go buy some prunes. EWW.

Anyhow, I might try to get my mom to scan me this weekend. Check up on the little dude/dudette.

Shit please nooooo

I went to the bathroom... spotting. Bright red. No cramping, yet. I'm hoping this is not what I think it is. I can't do this again.

Please pray. I'll keep this updated. I'm going to call ER in a bit if things get worse.

Shortness of breath

(ok, for those of you with bloglines... yes... I'm adding these a few days late. Changing the post date. I didn't "journal" this and I wanted to have it journaled so I'm adding it now)

Last night I got on the phone with Denise and was feeling like I couldn't catch my breath. I'm sure she thought I sounded like a dingbat. I felt like I'd run a mile or something. I got off the phone and just walking up the stairs and folding laundry was difficult and tiring. I decided to lay in bed and watch some 'Without A Trace' episodes I had DVR'd. I still, even lying down, felt weak and like my heart was overworked. I seriously thought I was going to die in my sleep, and crap we still don't have a life insurance policy.

Well, this morning I called the doctor to see if it could be the meds making me feel that way. The midwife said since I wasn't a 'big girl' (HAHA!) that I could try just taking half a pill. I guess the meds constrict your blood vessels or something and can make your diaphragm weaker and give you that "arms and legs are heavy, so so weak" feeling. So, I took half a pill today and so far so good.

Meds

After waking up this morning and feeling immediately like barfing, I decided to call the doc and ask for meds for nausea. I gagged the whole time on the phone. They called in Reglan, which I promptly picked up after work and took. Half an hour later I was raring to eat. Made pancakes. Ate 4 of them. YUM.

A day away from 10 Weeks

And feeling like major..... crap.

I have had this endless stomach-sick-acidy-nauseaus-pukey feeling all day. It doesn't help that I made a pot roast for dinner so our entire house smells like onions and roast and veggies (BARF) which has made me heave more times than I care to think about. (note to self: do not make pot roast for a looooong time)

We skipped swimming tonight. I'm glad I did as I'd definitely have ralphed in the pool.

I'm now sitting here feeling soo hungry, yet nothing sounds good and all I can smell is- yep- onions and meat and veggies which is making me queasy as I type.

Ugh.

Sorry for the whiny post. Thats about all I have to update. Other than.. I bought a pair of "maternity" pants today. They're the "real waist" pants... no panel or anything, and they have a drawstring. My dress pants are getting really snug. Uncomfortable snug.

Survey:

Got this from Kim's blog!

Survey about your First Born-

1. Were you married at the time? yes.
2. What were your reactions? Excited, cautious, nervous, thankful.
3. How old were you? 24
4. How did you find out you were pregnant? I had just been feeling "off"... craved KFC like I had to have it or die, felt a little nauseus that weekend when we were camping. I took a test at like 11pm and about freaked out. (its all documented here)
5. Who did you tell first? Ryan. He was sleeping, so I ran in and woke him up. Then I called Jessica at like 11:30 at night.
6. Did you want to find out the sex? Of course! I am impatient.
7. Did you deliver early or late? 9 days early
8. Did you have morning sickness? Yeah. Nausea during the day, and I threw up most evenings until 10 or 11 weeks or so.
9. What did you crave? Oranges, chocolate pudding, KFC (in the beginning), uhm....
10. Who irritated you the most? My husband, definitely. Same with this pregnancy.
11. What was your first child's sex? Boy
12. How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? 41 or 46lbs
13. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? Just my hips... I had some "sacroiliac joint dysfunction"... basically I walked like an old granny for a few months because my hip joint hurt so bad.
14. Where did you give birth? Foote
15. How many hours were you in labor? I think total it was like 14 hours. I started having contractions at 1am at home. I just thought I was cramping or it was braxton hicks. At 8:45am I went in for my appt and I was dilated to 4cm. They broke my water at 10ish, I think I got an epidural at 12:30, started pushing at 3:30, and Porter was born around 5:30. (story here)
16. Who drove you to the hospital? I did. HAHA! I went in for my 38 week appt and I was already 4cm dilated, so they sent me to L&D.
17. Who watched? Ryan, my Aunt Dawn, Cathy (Ry's mom), Dr. Pastoriza and the nurse (well, she like to hang back in her rocking chair... yeah...some nurse!)
18. Was it natural or c-section? Natural with epidural
19. Did you take medicine to ease the pain? I had an epidural
20. How much did your child weigh? 6lbs 12oz
21. Did your child have any complications? No, thank God.
22. What did you name him/her? Porter Evan
23. How old is your first born today? 20 months

OMG

My little floaty baby... we have ARMS AND LEGS!!! Awwww...

Girl or Boy... gut feelings?

Of course, with every pregnancy there is the excitement and wonder of guessing/finding out the gender of the baby (whether it is at your 20w u/s or at birth). We will definitely be finding out at one of our kazillion ultrasounds. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

With Porter, we discussed names from the beginning (well, and even BEFORE we were pregnant). Ryan is 100% convinced we'll have 3 boys. He even laughed at me when I tried discussing girl names with him.

While we both agree that we'd love to have 3 kids, I could also see us (err.. me) calling it quits after this baby if it is a girl. Pregnancy is such a blessing and I try to enjoy every second of it, however, I hate that it takes so long to get your body back to normal, only to get pregnant again and (being me) you pig out and lose all inhibitions. However, I don't think we could make the "no turning back" decision until this baby is at least 5 or 6. By then, I would have to know if YES I want to go the baby route again, or NO we're happy with two independent kids and don't want to do the baby thing again. Feelings change SO quickly about getting pregnant/having more kids, I wouldn't want to make any rash decisions too early (look how quickly my thoughts changed on having a second child! Literally overnight!!)

Here is my "Reasons" list:

Reasons I'd love for this baby to be a BOY:

• I love being a mom to a little boy. And, since we'll probably have a 3-4 year age gap between Child #2 and Child #3, it'd be great for Porter to be close in age to a brother.
• We already have lots and lots of cute boy clothes!
• We have a boys' name picked out already, and girls' names... well... lets just say we don't agree.
• It'd be easy for the boys to share a bedroom if we needed them to.
  

Reasons I'd love for this baby to be a GIRL:

• A little girl would "round out" our family...we'd have a girl and a boy, and if we decide to have Child #3, I wouldn't feel pressure/anxiety in wanting that final child to be a girl.. kwim?
• I would feel content saying "no more kids" after this baby... (see bullet above: we'd have a girl and a boy. Queer, I know. I just think, if we find that financially its only feasible to have 2 kids, I wouldn't feel like "Oh gosh, if only I had the chance to raise a daughter...")
  
• Zillions of cute girl clothes. 'Nuff said.
  

Before I got pregnant this time around I was really hoping we'd have another boy. A brother for Porter to play trains with (not that he can't do that with a sister...), and if we needed, they could share a room easily (meaning: I could decorate boyishly and they could share a room).

However, for the past few weeks I've totally had "girl" on the brain... thinking of girl names, when I try to envision how we'll set up the nursery once P has a big boy bed, I envision it decorated girly. So, I guess my instincts say girl. Maybe thats stemming from the fact that if this baby is a girl it could possibly be our last... I am so ready to just get my body back to myself and be able to stay in shape and not worry about getting pregnant a year or two or three later. Maybe I'm just secretly hoping for a girl and its giving me girl premonitions.

Honestly, though, I'd be totally happy with either gender. I really just want to be holding a healthy baby next May. While I have these "girl" gut feelings, a boy would not surprise me in the least, and I'd be 100% happy with another little man in the house. Which would mean... we'd 90% definitely be going for baby #3 in a few years and you'd better bet my fingers would be crossed for a little girl.

So... do you have any gut feelings about Baby Barczak #2? I put a poll in the sidebar. What do YOU see us having? (leave it in the comments too!)

We have a heartbeat!

I went in today for another scan. We were able to see and hear the baby's heartbeat: 180bpm. It was relieving to hear. I have a home dopplar and I think I might attempt to try to find the heartbeat at home. I know some moms on the May Due Date board were able to hear it this early. I can't remember when I could hear it with P. 10 weeks? 12 weeks?

He/she was moving around and it was so cute to watch! Like a little jumping bean. The baby measured 8w6d. I'm sure those measurements change often, but I decided I like that further along date than 8w3d, so I changed my floaty baby.

Its hard to tell that this isn't just a gray blob on the screen. Its not near as cute as Kim's little baby but she does have a few weeks on me. I *think* that the baby is curled up (check out floaty baby over in the sidebar) and facing us (is that right LeeAnn? Mom?). The head is to the left... you can make out the shape of it... its close to half the size of the blob. We were able to see the little arm nubs on the scan when the baby was moving around. I love being able to peek in at the new little one. This pregnancy still seems so surreal. I mean, half the time I forget I'm pregnant, but then I realize "DUH! There is a reason I'm barfing all day and feeling like crap." And then I get to check in him/her and it makes it so much more real.

Where did this exhaustion come from?

This is getting ridiculous. In the past 2 weeks I have sat on this couch and watched more tv than I have probably all year. I get home from work and even though I have a million things I could be doing, the mere thought of getting up and exerting energy to do those things makes me want to just close my eyes and fall asleep. I do not remember feeling this tired when I was pregnant with Porter. And I was student teaching full time then! I don't really remember feeling this tired even after Porter was born and I was getting up at all hours of the night. What the hell! So, I sit here yet another afternoon.... doing nothing but watching tv and blogging. I really really want to take a nap. Yesterday Ryan got home from work and sent me to bed to take a nap. I slept for about an hour and felt SO much better when I woke up. I should probalby take a little cat nap since its just Porter and I all night (Ry has class).

What else is daily life like lately...

• My pants are getting tight. THAT is ridiculous. 7 weeks... thats IT and my ass and thighs and gut are already packing on the pounds. Its so hard to eat healthy when the only things that sound stomach settling is junk food.
  
• My boobs... GAHHH! They're bigger already. Help me! I just started to notice that instead of saggy, deflated boobs they're actually looking..... uh.. "fuller" is that the term? Kind of nice but then.... I really don't want a bigger chest.
  
• I've been pretty good as far as getting sick goes. I feel nauseous on and off all day long typically, but as long as I keep something in my stomach I don't throw up.

6 week doctor's appointment

Pretty routine, nothing much happened.

She (the midwife) is going with my ultrasound dates, so my due date will be June 1st, 2008. So, as of Sunday I'm 6 weeks along. Holy crap that doesn't seem that productive.

Since my "annual female appt" at the end of July I've gained 6lbs. GAAAHHH! Look who hasn't been eating very well...

So, my starting weight was 124 (I was 130 today). I swear in just the past month I feel like I've gained that whole 6lbs. I feel bloatier (is that a word) and my thighs and butt feels chunkier. GRR. She wasn't too worried... she said "Just look at it this way, if on average you gain a pound a week (for a total of 40), you're right on track with gaining 6lbs for being 6weeks along" HAHAHA! Way to try to make me feel better. Its hard to eat healthy when there is usually only one single item that sound good enough to not bring on a fit of gagging and dry heaving over the toilet. And, let me add that that single item that sounds good is 99% of the time NOT fruit or something healthy. I'm on my way to gaining that 40+lbs again HAHA! Oh well. I view pregnancy as my time to be big and fat. I'll never be one of those cute, tiny pregnant girls, so why even try? The weight can be lost afterward. Lets just hope I have the motivation like I did after I had Porter.

Is this all in my head?

I swear I've had mild heartburn all weekend. I eat something spicy and I feel acidy in my chest and throat. I haven't had heartburn since I was pregnant with Porter, and I do not remember it being this early.

Other than that... I've just been feeling "icky" on and off all day. When I get too hungry, I feel nauseous. And, of course, not much sounds good... until I think of that "perfect" food. Saturday I ate about 9 pieces of toast with butter, cinnamon and sugar.

Every evening around 10/11pm I am starving for a nighttime snack. Oh, that'll do good for the waist and butt.

Let's try this again...

Apparently, I'm going to fully experience the FULL 10 months of this pregnancy. For the past 3 weeks I've been thinking I was 5 weeks pregnant. I had another (I know, I know....) ultrasound today and we can see the yolk sac now (YAY!) and I measured 5w4d, with a due date of June 1st. I am assuming I took those pregnancy test THE DAY that my levels were high enough to be detected.

Holy moly. Its going SLOWLY. Hopefully now that I *for sure* know how far along I am it'll go a little quicker. But, dang... I like the 7wk gestation a little better than 5wks... that just means more time feeling worried/scared about the pregnancy ending. UGH. Hopefully in the next couple weeks we'll hear the heartbeat at one of my "self scheduled weekly scans". I called my mom today after lunch:

mom: Hi

me: Hey, what are you up to?

mom: Oh, nothing. Just getting ready to scan a patient.

me: Ok. I was going to stop in.

mom: Oh?

me: Yeah, you know, for my weekly scan.

mom: Oh yeah, ok. I'll be ready in 15.


HAHAH. I love that my mom can do my scans for me. She said the receptionist at her office is also pregnant, as is the receptionists sister. So, they've been having her scan them often. She'll be sick of all of us bugging her to scan us every darn week.

So, whats up with my "not as far along as I assumed pregnant self":

• I've been feeling nauseous for the past 5 days or so... threw up a few times last weekend, threw up OJ this morning (OJ has got to be the nastiest, most acidic thing to vomit. EWW)
• Exhaustion. I feel like such a slacker mom. I'm SO tired by the time 4:00 rolls around. I could take a nap every day. Tonight, after dinner, I put on Little Bear for Porter and we laid on the floor and I took a 30 minute cat nap while he watched tv. So. Tired.
• I feel like a bottomless pit lately... like I can keep eating and eating. But then other times I eat a few bites and thats about all I can keep down.
  
• I really really love mashed potatoes. KFC, if possible. I was the same way in the very beginning of my pregnancy with Porter. Weird.
  

Other than that... nothing much has changed. Things seem to be going ok so far, and pregnancy thus far is tolerable (minus the migraine).

6w5d or 5w5d?

I *think* my little calendar buddy is a week off over there. I had a second ultrasound last Thursday and my mom measured me at 5weeks. So, I think I'm a week behind what I *thought* I was. I'm going to bug her for another sonogram this week (haha... you'd better bet I'll be in there like EVERY freaking week HAHA!).

This past weekend, if you read my regular blog, you'll know that I was super sick with a migraine. I started getting really nauseous on Saturday, throwing up a few times. I ended up throwing up 4 or 5 times over the weekend (which was NOT fun with a piercing migraine, let me add), and foods were making me really nauseous. I thought it was just because I had such a bad migraine. One of the worst I've had yet.

Sunday I told Ryan... "I NEED KFC for lunch. Their mashed potatoes. YUUUMMM." That is exactly what I craved when I found out I was pregnant with Porter.

Today I woke up feeling fine. Ate pancakes and syrup with Porter for breakfast and even had a granola bar snack at school (gotta keep Ryan happy). But, by the time I picked Porter up from my grandmas (around 12:30) I was starving and getting a little queasy. We went to Pollys where I picked up a big box of Hungry Jack Mashed Potatoes, corn dogs and some other misc. foods.

I'm sitting here now typing... getting hungry. Getting nauseous. I should go eat and get to bed.

Something seriously is in the water!!

Let me list all the people I have found out are pregnant recently:

2 of my clients (not maternity clients... just "family session" clients... so hopefully they'll be maternity/newborn clients this spring!)
Katie Huff
Kim Turpin
Kim's friend Mags
D.G (its still a secret)
D.G's friend
Michelle Sauer
LeeAnn's friend Erin

Bloggers:
The Kaisers (The Image is Found)
Giselle
Devan
Bun in the Oven

I think I'm missing a few.

And, I'm sure a few more will be added to the list soon, as I know of at least 4 people (friends) that will be trying to get pregnant in the following few months (wishing them good luck!).

Sheesh, with all these preggos popping up, I sure hope I'm not the only fat, pregnant girl on our Chicago Girls Weekend in March!!

So, preggo bloggers/readers... my question to you... are you hoping for a girl or boy? Have you had any "gut feelings" about what gender the baby will end up being?

Still nothing new.

Just checking in for all 5 of you readers LOL.

I'm still feeling fine, which has me a little worried. I did look back on Porter's Pregnancy blog (SO glad I kept up on that thing so well!) and morning sickness hit just after 6 weeks. So, maybe I just have a few more days/week to go.

Isn't it ridiculous that I'm so anxious to FEEL pregnant, whether it means I am barfing and nauseous or not? I'm crazy, I know. But, reading back on P's Preggo Blog I totally felt the same way with him... nausea sucked but I have numerous posts where I wrote how thankful I was for that sign that things were more than likely ok. I keep forgetting I am pregnant, and I keep having anxiety that I'm actually not pregnant anymore- that the baby has died or not developed or what not. I wish I could be confident and carefree like some preggos, but I just can't.

I'm hoping that we'll be able to see/hear something when my mom scans me this week. Cross your fingers.

5 week scan

Lucky me, my mom works as a sonographer, so... basically free ultrasounds whenever she sneaks me in!

She was working at the hospital near the Treehouse today, so I stopped in and she scanned me to see what we could see. Stupid me, I peed right before we left the Treehouse and my bladder was nowhere near full. She was just able to see the gestational sac. I'm going to go to her work in Jackson at the end of next week to have her scan me again.

Telling Aunt Lori and Nina & Papa

This afternoon I met Lori and the girls at the Chelsea Treehouse to play. I had Porter wear his shirt in and once we arrived we realized Lori and the girls were in the bathroom. So, we headed over there and waited outside the door. She opened the door and Porter started crying (weird kid. He always cries when he sees her). She just laughed, I said hi to the girls and she said hi to Porter. She didn't notice the shirt. Then I said... "Did you see his shirt?" She read it and said "Are you really!?!" I'm so excited to add another little one to our clan of cousins. So so fun.

And... Ry's parents are out of town until Sunday. They left the day we found out we were pregnant, so we haven't had a chance to tell them. We were going to wait and use the shirt (gotta get use out of that $7 shirt HAHA!), but tonight Ry says "Lets just call my parents"

We had Porter rehearse his part. We called Nina and Papa's cell phone and then gave the phone to Porter.

He says "Big Brother!" (errr... "Beeg Budder!!)

They didn't catch it. He says it again. And again. And again. Finally, Ry says "Porter says that if you bring something back, make sure you bring something for big brother and his baby sister or brother"

THEN Dave caught on (it was just his dad on the phone). Then we went through the whole P saying "Big Brother" process again with Cathy. Cute.

So, our close family knows now. Our close friends know. So excited to share this with everyone, and hoping and praying in 9 months we'll be sharing our new little one with everyone.

Boring Update.

No news is good news, right?

I'm not feeling pregnant today. I wish I would. I know in a few weeks when m/s hits I'll regret saying that, but honestly I always felt a little comfort being sick with Porter. It was uncomfortable and yucky and cruddy being sick in the beginning, but I knew that as long as I was feeling so sick the chances of my baby being ok were good.

I may be getting an ultrasound on Friday. My mom is a sonographer (great job for her to have, eh?) so while I'm at the Treehouse in Chelsea I am going to try to swing into the hospital and have her scan me. I'm nervous that she will find nothing (we're still way early in the preg, so that is a possibility) or that the pregnancy tests were wrong or something. I'm such a nervous Nelly.

The few of you who read this, please keep a friend of mine in your thoughts and prayers. She's in her first trimester and has started spotting (maybe tmi for some of you). She's going in for an ultrasound to see how the baby is doing, but I'm both nervous and terrified for her. Please pray that everything is ok with the baby.

That's all for now.

Article about "Overreacting"

I'm sure those of you who chat with me (or those who read this blog) will probably at some point or another think "OMG CHILL OUT... you are SO overreacting."

True, true. I'm super paranoid that at any moment this pregnancy will be over. Whats the old saying... Once bitten twice shy? I've experienced loss and it sucks. I'm afraid to get too excited and it all be over as quickly as it started.

Anyhow... back to my title... I found an article on the May 2008 Expecting Board about how society/articles/magazines tend to make EVERY part of pregnancy SO high risk, when in fact it really isn't as risky as we all think. Made me feel a teensy bit better.

Still haven't let my guard down. This baby is still, in essence, a little fleck of cells.

Dang!

I wish THIS is what I looked like when I was pregnant.

Unfortunately, this is what I have to look forward to. G boobs and baby growing everywhere... butt, thighs, arms, face, belly, boobs.... SOO not cute. Ah, well, its a small price to pay.

Telling "Damma"

Ideally, we'd be telling both of our parents this weekend, however, Ryan's parents are out of town until next week. So, we're starting out by telling my mom. I tried to think of something creative, but really... how creative can you be with telling the news? Frankly, I don't have the braincells to come up with something thats actually unique (btw... those of you who DO know the scoop... if you have a creative idea, toss me a bone and maybe I'll do something new with Ry's parents). '

Anyhow, I made this shirt for Porter... $3 shirt from WalMart, $3 iron ons... voila!


My mom was stopping by today to drop off a movie (Wild Hogs) for Ry and I to watch tonight. I put the shirt on Porter and waited for her to stop by.

When she walked in, Porter -of course- went to pick up the silo to his barn and proceeded to carry that around in front of his shirt for a few minutes. I just sat there, heart pounding, willing him to put the damn thing down so I could get the excitement over with!

He finally put it down and started playing with the animals with my mom.

For like TEN FREAKING MINUTES! For nearly 10 minutes she named ever darn animal in his silo, and made the noises and laughed with him and even POKED HIS BELLY with the cow! Then she started blowing bubbles with him.

I sat there, biting my cheek... "READ THE SHIRT READ THE SHIRT YOU ARE STARING AT!!" I kept thinking.

Finally, after about 10 minutes, I notice her look at him weird.

"Where'd he get that shirt?" she said to me, confused. "Are you PREGNANT!?" she finally put two and two together HAHA!

She was excited. Now she'll be a "damma" times three!!

Still.

Still pregnant.

Still crossing my fingers and toes and whatever else.

Still running to the bathroom often, thinking I've started my period.

Still excited.

Still hopeful.

Still wary.

Still in shock.

Still feeling amazingly blessed.

Here we go again!

So, we're pregnant. I knew something was in the water lately HAHA!

We literally just found out last night. Here's the scoop...

We've been discussing the inevitable "Second Child Idea" for awhile now, but up until last month I was dead set against it. I didn't WANT to be pregnant again so soon (not that 18 months is SOON, but still..), and I was stressed and worried about money, my job(s), our house etc. Finally, on our way down to St. Louis we discussed the whole topic through and through and we decided, What the hell... let's just do it! So, I stopped taking the pill and, well a month later here we are. Writing about being pregnant.

I honestly did not think I had gotten pregnant this past month. The last 2 times I was pregnant (my first pregnancy was a miscarriage, and my second was of course, Porter), we were SO very lucky to get pregnant right away, the first month. I felt incredibly blessed and lucky. I know there are so many couples out there trying to get pregnant and not able to. I tried so hard during my pregnancy with Porter to not act or feel ungrateful. I figured this time around, what are our odds of getting so lucky on the first try AGAIN? For a third time?

Well, God has blessed us is all I can think to say. The last few days I had been feeling a little "off"... kind of crampy but not "those" kind of cramps. I remembered feeling like that with Porter, and Leslie said she had felt that way before finding out she was pregnant with Reyna. So I had already taken two tests (both about a week too early... a week before my period was due... so not enough HCG in my pee anyway) and they were negative so I just told myself "Nope, didn't happen this month. We'll keep trying next month." Well, after I kept feeling a little crampy/pinchy I decided last night, around 9:30pm, to take a test. At first no line, but then after 2 minutes, a faint blue line. This morning P and I went to Target and I picked up a digital test so I didn't have to interpret the line and I could clearly read "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant".

It said... "PREGNANT!"

So, that is the story. We're on our way to being a family of 4. I'm extremely excited, but extremely nervous and cautious at the same time. I don't want to get too attached and lose the baby early like we did the first time. I know in the next few months it is a very unstable time, and I'm hoping and praying that this baby sticks with us.